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three times and finally gave up. Addicts are self centered people by nature anyway - so helping them to understand why this affects them is next to impossible because well let's face it - there's a whole generation of addicts raised under the new service structure that are every bit self will run riot and there's just so many more of them that addicts like us come off sounding like some crazy person raised by wolves.

My recovery has suffered under this new service structure. My only solution I see is to move back east where there's more groups now formed under the old service structure and well frankly where there's more like me. But finances play a part and I don't have the money to move right now. Each time I think I can move something comes up and I can't. Being in Nevada is like being in quicksand - I keep trying to get out but I can't.

Nor am I in CA where I might have an impact on WSO either. So what does an addict like me who is between the devil and the deep blue sea do? We can distribute things like NA in Crisis -but honestly I don't think you're going to get a lot of people to read it. Out of those who do - how many are going to understand it unless they know what it was like before?

I've been around long enough to know the difference between how an addict acts while not taking any medications vs. while taking legally prescribed medications. I know that an addict may not be "acting out" or in a relapse while on prescribed medication. But I also know that the way they perceive the world and the way they interact with the world is different when on these prescribed medications.

I've been through enough surgeries to know that I myself am not "myself for about 90 days after a surgery. So I understand why an addict should not be holding certain service positions while under the influence of anything. But we have huge numbers of addicts who have been raised on shows like A&E's "Intervention" and other shows who seem to be based in the concept that our disease lies in the drugs and not in us. But that's because of all these treatment centers who put addicts on a shopping list of medications now and call that "getting them clean".

I started putting together a continuing course for drug counselors on how to treat people coming out of sex work who are also trying to get clean. I've been contacting the schools and programs that teach the drug counselors out there what they know. I was pretty shocked to see that nothing is being taught on this subject. I was even more shocked to see that nothing is being taught about the concept of "drug free" recovery. There is a huge list of classes on things like "dual diagnosis" and basically how to get someone off street drugs and onto pharmaceutical drugs though. But nothing on the concept of an addict getting through treatment without drugs of any kind.

So we have crop after crop of counselors going out there and populating the drug treatment field - who aren't being taught this either in a home group (that concept seems to have died now also), or in school.

From Kathmandu, Nepal:

There are people all over this world dying of our disease, and, believe it or not, we are truly the only people who can really help them. You and I have been given, through illness - through suffering - and through disease, a talent for helping other human beings like ourselves. Let's never forget that.

Wilmington NC USA:.

My main interest from this whole NAWS new IP deal has been the realm of self-medication (those who still doctor shop) and drug replacement "therapy".

Personally, I am not on any meds... Back when I had six years clean and my appendix burst, I held out as long as I could and cried when they administered morphine for the pain finally. After surgery, I only used the pain prescription for two days out of the prescribed months worth. (My personal belief is that, if you enjoy the feeling pain meds bring - you haven't surrendered yet.. .1 hate feeling that way, and want it to end ASAP.)

My experience with psychiatrist prescribed drugs, is limited to what I have seen in some others. Right now, I am dating someone, who, without those drugs, would most likely kill herself or I'd end up killing her.(not very PC of me to say, I know.. .but honesty is sometimes harsh.)

Her drug regime is very different than someone else I know...that person self medicates, takes this or that to get up or down depending on how they feel at the moment, etc.. .her scrips do not seem like any of the type we used to "pill pop"... but his are.

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