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What to do -withdraw money in reasonably small (small as it relates to your lifestyle) amounts over a period of several months or even years.

What not to do – talk to a therapist. Anything you say can later be used against you in court (particularly as it relates to children)

What to do – do not see a therapist with your wife. It’s a lose/lose proposition.

What not to do -trust people you know with your divorce preparations.

What to do -trust no-one. The less people know the better.

What not to do -admit that you are preparing divorce if your wife gets suspicious

What to do -say "I love you more than ever".

What not to do -move in with your GF during the divorce.

What to do -do not mention your GF to anyone until your divorce is over. You GF will give your wife extra sympathy and advantage in divorce court.

Make as little money as possible 1-2 years before divorce.

That is absolutely crucial. If possible, postpone any income until after you get divorced. Work less, or do not work at all if you can get away with that. Your paycheck is the single most important thing that will determine how much you will be paying your wife after you get divorced.

You should give your wife and the judge reasons why you started to work less. You don't want to say that you quit your job so you can lay on the beach all day and pick up young women.

Here are some good reasons to stop working or work less before filing for divorce:

* You want to spend more time with your children and be a better father. Women do that all the time. Who can blame a father for wanting to spend more time with his children.

* You got laid off. Make sure you get laid off before filing for divorce if you think you are going to be laid off anyway.

* You are going back to school and/or re-training yourself. See more on that below.

* You are stressed and burnt out. That's a perfectly valid reason to stop working or work less. Women do it all the time; so can you. Go see a doctor so there are records of your stress.

* You are depressed (work-related or not). Another thing women love doing. Depression is an illness and a valid reason to work less.

* You want to have a more "meaningful life", want to "find your true self", "grow spiritually", etc. Buy some books on "finding true self" on Amazon so there are records of you being interested in this subject.

* You have to care for a sick relative.

* Start (temporarily unprofitable) business. A lot of businesses make little or no money in the first couple of years. Starting a business can help you in several ways. It can explain why you work less on your day job and make less money. It is also potentially a good way to hide assets. You can invest a lot of money into your business and acquire “assets” that are hard to locate, or that somehow “lost” value.

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