all other divorce-related debts, including continuing making house payments for your ex-wife. It is
crucial that you try to minimize alimony and child-support payments to your wife.
Pay off certain debts from your joined account.
Particularly your IRS and student loans debts. You are going to have to pay them back anyway, so you might as well do it from your joined account. But don’t pay off debts for your wife (her car or her credit cards), and don’t pay any more than you are legally required for the
Document anything illegal and unethical your wife does.
Don’t do anything illegal and unethical yourself (including drinking, particularly if you want custody of children). Chapter 5 has detailed information on documenting illegal and unethical things that your wife may be doing.
Educate yourself on divorce laws in your state before seeing a lawyer.
Get a recent divorce law book for your state that covers all the main divorce laws in your state and how they are usually interpreted. Learn as much about divorce law in your state as you can, particularly as it
relates to house and children.
custody has a list of pro-men attorneys and useful articles and other legal information you should read.
Spend a few hours reading deltabravo.net and searching the three above newsgroups for keywords (Your state, custody, abuse, etc…) relevant to your future divorce.
Hire a good lawyer.
You want a lawyer who is good at what he/she does, who is on your side, and who is honest (does not overbill you) and reliable.
It is very important that your attorney is not brainwashed by feminist agenda. Many divorce attorneys will have underlying mindset that women are always victims and deserve to benefit from divorce. Attorney like that will not really be on your side and will not give you the best objective advice (in some cases you may even get bad-faith advice). Do not assume that all male attorneys are men-friendly and female attorneys are women-friendly. I would say there is an equal chance that a menfriendly attorney can be a man or a woman.
When you first talk with an attorney, say something along the line of “My wife was treating me unfairly and I want to get as much as possible out of divorce and leave her as little as possible”. His reaction to that should be positive and reassuring that he understands and will help you do just that. Fire him on a spot he says anything like “you need to be fair”, “your wife deserves…”, etc…