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you decide to do it.

Chapter 5

Document illegal and unethical things your wife does.

Documenting illegal and unethical things your wife does (and everything else that portrays her in negative manner) will really help you in divorce court. It will be particularly important if you want to gain custody of your children.

Think of documenting illegal and unethical things your wife does as an insurance policy. You don’t have to use it, but it will be there for you if you wife ever makes false accusations against you. First, consult an attorney in your area to make sure video and audio recorded evidence will be admitted in court where you live. You can also speak to a local state prosecutor’s office regarding legalities of video and audio recording your wife. State prosecutors will be familiar with local prosecutions of violations of wiretap law and should be able to tell you if it's legal or not where you live.

Be particularly careful wiretapping your wife's conversations on the phone when she is not talking to you. It will often, but not always, be considered illegal wiretap.

You can buy small inexpensive cameras that record video and audio and install them in the house. You can also use small audio recorders to record when you talk to you wife (or when she yells at you). I would highly recommend buying a small audio recorder (they are now very cheap and very small) and always carry it in case your wife starts engaging in behavior you'd want to record. Video record, audio record, make photos, keep diary and other records of your wife doing any of the following (the more record you have, the better):

• behaving in abusive or threatening manner (towards anyone, not just you)

• doing illegal drugs

• doing anything illegal

• having affairs

• screaming and shouting

• getting drunk and behaving obnoxiously

• drinking alcohol in general, particularly around children

• behaving cruelly

• doing anything else that portrays her in a negative manner

Evidence of your wife engaging in any of the above activity around children will be particularly helpful during divorce.

Your videotapes and audio recordings may or may not be admissible in court. But the more proof of negative things about your wife you have, the better off you'll be during divorce.

Remember that emotional abuse is abuse. Anything she says that bothers you or causes you emotional distress is abuse. Any time she yells or insults you, she is engaging in emotional abuse. Record and document as much of it as possible.

Document her lying and even exaggerating. The more proof you have of things she lies about, the better. You want records you can use during the divorce that will help you question the credibility of what she says.

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