Have a history of caring for your children: get involved with their school, take them to their activities, to doctor’s appointments, cook for them, put them to bed, etc… Make sure you have as many records of you caring for children as possible. You want to be as much involved with their lives as possible.
Do not move out of the house. Don't let children stay with your wife or her parents before and during divorce. Your wife's attorney will argue that you voluntarily abandoned your children or that you reached an informal agreement with your wife giving her custody.
You may want to try to persuade your wife to move away or travel "for a while" while you stay with the children during divorce. You may be able to argue that moving children from the stable environment you created will be detrimental to them.
Consider getting a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO), specifying that the children are prohibited from being taken out of the State. This will prevent your spouse from taking the children to another State and concealing them, something she may be legally able do if there is no TRO in place.
You may be able to persuade your wife not to seek custody because children will be a “burden” for her. That might work if your wife has a career she wants to pursue. You can tell your wife that you will be
pursuing a non-profit career and her child-support payments will be miniscule. Remind her how much children cost, and how much better off she will be without the burden of children (particularly regarding her career and dating life). There is absolutely no guarantee that it will work, but it may be worth a try.
Here is an important thing to understand about modern American women. A lot of them regret having children. The reason many of them want custody is not because they genially want to raise children, but rather because they hate you and want to punish you by keeping you away from children. So children often become a sick power play on their part. Keep that in mind when you talk to her about children. If you make her think that she is not punishing you by fighting for custody, then she may not fight for it on the first place.
Marital torts. Consider filing one and know that your wife may file one against you.
Marital tort is basically a lawsuit one spouse can file against another spouse.
The reasons for the lawsuit are usually claims that the other spouse injured or harmed you, including causing you mental or emotional stress.
You need to be aware that your wife may bring marital tort suit against you (including doing so frivolously). You also need to consider filing your own marital tort suit against your wife. You'd be in a good position if you file the lawsuit first and force your wife defending herself instead of attacking you. Discuss it with your lawyer.
Here are the reasons your can use to file marital tort against your wife:
• Intentional infliction of emotional distress.
You can claim that your wife "intentionally or recklessly caused you
severe emotional distress". Any occurrences of her yelling and
insulting can be considered emotional abuse. If it emotionally bothers