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Sex after marriage stops.

Here's why I'll be with my girlfriend tonight and not my wife.

Two phone calls this afternoon:

1.Me: Hey sweetie, my mom called and she wants the kids to stay over tonight. What do you say I pick up a bottle of wine and we open up the hottub.

Wife: No, John, you know Tuesdays are difficult days. I had carpool this morning and I'm just too tired. . . .

2.Me: Hey sugar, you want to get a drink tonight after work?

Girlfriend: Why don't we just go to my place?

My wife reads in the kitchen until I fall asleep to avoid having sex with me, or if I am not tired, she waits until I am in the shower and then gets into bed and goes to sleep.

Prior to marriage: Real sex is unequivocal to anything else, including food and oxygen. Porn is only there if you're in-between girls. Up to four years of marriage: Sex is great and when you finish with the foreplay (usually 30 minutes of begging), you have a pretty good time. Porn is okay

After four or more years of marriage: Sex = Been there, done that, nothing new. Porn is now the better since at least you're seeing something new and fresh. Sorry girls, we love you forever, but even eating steak and lobster gets old if you do it too much.

My take on marriage: It's a great way to complicate an otherwise amicable business relationship with sex.

I can remember my last blowjob like it was yesterday. Actually it was six years ago the day before I got married. Sex then was four to five times a week. Now I have a four year old son who sleeps in my bed with my wife more nights a week than I do. Sex now maybe once a month. Triple that for vacation sex. I have noticed that the rate goes up for a short period of time but drops off quickly when large purchases are made (house, Landrover, shopping sprees, new floors, etc). I am thirty eight, not happy, and slowly methodically plotting my way out. I always love the look in the eyes of my friends who say that won't happen to them.

When we were changing for the reception after the wedding and I tried to kiss her (and after 3 years of mind-bending sex), my wife of 45 minutes said "No more of that. We're married now."

My wife was a frigid, shriveled bitch. Before we were married, we had plenty of sex, but as soon as we passed the six month mark after our wedding, she stopped being interested. My wife only fucks when she "feels sexy." Translation: when I give her jewellery. She is just a withered old bag at the age of 35.

My granddad told me an insightful story before my wedding. He said for the first year of marriage to put a penny in a jar every time I had sex with my wife. Starting in year two, take out two pennies every time we had sex. He said there'd be money in the jar when I died. I think he's going to be right.

I've been married 15 years and my wife and I have lived most of that as brother and sister. There has been no sex AT ALL for the last four years. Get a girlfriend or get used to it. Marriage is all about learning how to do without sex.

My wife reached a point where she only uses sex to get something, and she doesn't happen to want anything at the moment.

My GF was damn good to me, in and out of the sack. We probably had sex, on average, 10-15 times a

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