14. "Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good standing among your friends'."
15. "A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."
16. "Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another."
17. "When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me and say, 'Do what you like now'."
18. "Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel."
Leonardo Di Vinci
19. "I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
20. "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
21. "The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men."
22. "I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife."
23. "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
24. "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late."
25. "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
26. "Dammit sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure."
27. "Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."