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     Sean Williamson

 14. "Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good standing among your friends'."

     Jeffrey Bernard

 15. "A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."

     Groucho Marx

 16. "Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another."

     HL Mencken

 17. "When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me and say, 'Do what you like now'."

     Leo Tolstoy

 18. "Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel."

     Leonardo Di Vinci

 19. "I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

     Lewis Grizzard

 20. "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."

     Patrick Murray

 21. "The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men."


 22. "I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife."

     Tony Curtis

 23. "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

     Henry Youngman

 24. "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late."

     Max Kaufman

 25. "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

     Oscar Wilde

 26. "Dammit sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure."

     Oscar Wilde

 27. "Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

     George Burns

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