You put the two together and at least 4 out of 5 married men (80%) either get divorced or trapped in miserable marriages.
Will you be one of the lucky 1 out of 5 men who is relatively happy with marriage? Not likely unless you and your future wife live your lives largely outside the mainstream American values and your wife is not a "modern western woman".
My research shows that the following groups of people make up the majority of the relatively happy marriages (the majority of that 20% of relatively happy marriages):
1. Very religious people.
A lot of people in the US consider themselves to be religious, and that's fine. But for the purpose of this book very religious people have to be defined as people who strictly follow (and I do mean follow, not just talk about it) some form of traditional/conservative ideology as it relates to men/women and marriage. Think of a typical "modern western woman" as defined above. Then think of a traditional young Mormon woman from a very strict family (I am only using Mormon as an example, it can be any
conservative religion). Now think about those two women as being on the opposite sides of the spectrum. Women I am talking about here are women on the traditional/conservative side of the spectrum.
2. People living in the rural South and rural Midwest. Women there tend to be a lot less materialistic, self-centered, anti-male, and mentally unstable. Men there also tend to be in charge of their lives and they don’t put up with any BS from women. Sometimes I get emails from men who are lucky enough to genially not understand what all the fuss is about. These men say that their wives are great, then they say they don’t spend much time with their wives and spend their free time hunting, riding a Harley,
doing things like that. If I ask them about their wives, it always turns out that their wives are closer to 50s housewives than to modern western women.
Perhaps a more accurate way to classify this group would be “people from mostly rural areas who marry early”. Not everyone in this group is in the South or Midwest. There are plenty of women like
that living 150 miles from Manhattan. And not all women who marry early are from the rural areas; but for the sake of simplicity I will lump them all under this umbrella.
What matters is that these women marry early and usually stay married unless something really serious goes wrong. They also marry for "love" or for idealistic reasons if you want to call it that.
Another way to look at it is that they choose their future husbands almost accidentally or randomly. They basically marry whoever happens to ask them on a date when they are 17-19yo, who seems nice
and treats them well. So whoever becomes their first or second serious boyfriend is likely to become their husband.
The conventional wisdom (at least the one that modern western women subscribe to) is that these types of marriages are not likely to work out. But in actuality they have a very reasonable chance of
working out quite well. The biggest potential risk with these marriages is that people may change a lot between they are 17-22 and 28-35 years old.
A man may end up with drinking/drugs problem and/or beating up his wife. Or he may just become lazy and complacent. A woman may become lazy, uninterested in anything, spending the whole day literally sitting on a couch eating ice cream and watching TV. A few years of sitting on a couch and she