Most American men get married for the "wrong" reasons.
Children -the only right reason to get married.
The only "right" reason to get married is if you determined that YOU want to raise children in the near future and you need to find a woman who will make a good mother and wife. Very few men get married for the right reason. Most American men get married for the following 3 reasons, all of them wrong reasons:
1. Pressure from girlfriend to get married. By far the most common reason. After a couple of years of dating most women will start putting pressure on a guy to get married. Pressure
can range from open ultimatums (let's set up a wedding date or else I am leaving) to subtle hints and everything in between. A guy starts thinking that he'd better propose or she'll probably leave and he
eventually figures "what the hell, I am over 30 and she seems OK. Might as well get married". A guy does not really want to get married and does not want to have children at this time, but he goes ahead with both because his girlfriend is pressuring him.
2. Pressure from society, parents, etc... Society and parents still put a lot of pressure on men to get married, "settle down", and have children by 30 or so. Society pressure and girlfriend pressure often go hand-in-hand.
3. A woman gets pregnant, accidentally or maliciously. Men will often marry a woman after she "accidentally" gets pregnant, even though he does not really want to be married.
Here is how men usually get married:
1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.
2. Guy delays.
3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating his friends.
4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something better than what he has.
5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing in the guy's life.
6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.
If you are marrying because of girlfriend or societal pressure, or because a girl got pregnant, then you are not really doing what YOU want to do with your life, but rather going with the flow and being a
TOOL to circumstances. Marriages that start out for the wrong reasons are almost guaranteed to fail.
Determine if YOU want children in the near future.
You need to determine if YOU want children in the next few years. Do not talk to your girlfriend when determining if you want children. You need to determine if YOU want to spend the next 20 years of your life being responsible for raising children.
There is an unspoken taboo in our society, where if you admit that having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be, and that if you could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have
kids, then you are an evil, despicable monster.
The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They will never say it out loud and they