can't even admit that to themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion,
Children literally turn your life upside down. Marriage, sex life, your wife's appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and on.
Forget dressing your daughter in pretty clothes, or playing catch with your son. Think about being awaken at 2 a.m. by a sick, screaming kid who just threw up all over the bed, and who doesn't give a shit that you have to get up for work in four hours.
Talk to every father you know (preferably people close to your age). Ask them what it's really like to have children. Ask them what changes they made to their lives after they had children. Ask them how much time children take. Ask them how much effort and energy children take.
Ask them how stressful it really is to raise children. Ask them how much children cost them. Do not ask them if they are glad they had children. Nobody will admit to being unhappy even if they are.
Then determine if you want the next 20 years of your life to change the way their lives changed. It should be a yes or no answer. Children will change your life. You need to decide if you want these changes in advance. And please make this decision by yourself. You'll be responsible for your children, so the decision is entirely yours.
Don't overlook the financial aspect. One child today costs $300K-$600K to raise. You will have to commit to earning at least $20K per year per child for the next twenty years.
Let's break down the costs of raising just one child:
You'll need an extra bedroom. At $500/month, that's $120,000 over 20 years.
Food and clothing will be $200/month -$48,000 over 20 years.
Healthcare is another $100/month -$24,000 over 20 years.
Then there is travel, babysitting, and all the misc. expenses let's say $300/month -$72,000 over 20 years.
Now we are near $300,000 over 20 years, and we did not even talk about the biggest expense-education.
You want your child to go to a good private university -that will be $200,000 over 4 years.
How about a private school -that will be another $150,000. Add all these numbers up, then decide if you want to take this financial obligation at this time in your life.
Think of being a dad as a part-time 20-year long job that you can not quit (that's exactly what it is). I am not saying it is a good job or a bad job. It is just a part-time job that will completely change your
life for the next twenty years. Do you want this part-time 20-year long job at this time in your life?