I think like …. I mean initially I struggled hugely with no structure it felt like where are we going?, why are having all these meetings?, and what’s going to
happen?. …. It took a little bit of time [to learn] that that was OK. I think you’re [CNLs] so used to going to things and being structured like we have a meeting and its structured and often we try and have the outcome before we’ve even got the question so I found that quite difficult. Others added: “Yeah …the point I found it very hard [was] at the start” and I was like a fish out of water and as time went by it got easier with the process. I did find it hard coming in at the start picking up the threads again but I found I was able to do it easier and easier as time went by. … It might be because of what’s happening out there you come in you sit down and …. where are we again, so it was good at that last meeting it … pulled all the threads together
and it was great.
One of the participants felt that it was therefore her problem and that I as primary investigator seemed to be comfortable and confident in the process. Another participant spoke of what an “amazing journey” it had been for her. Furthermore, she would miss the group meetings when they finished. A third participant described how proud she was of the work produced at this stage, referring to the proposal around preparation and professional development for the role.
The group then discussed how it was different from how they operated within their role of Clinical Nurse Leader and, as one said: “Maybe it’s we want outcomes, we want them quicker”. Another added:
It’s interesting because in my opinion … we look at the outcomes first because if you have a complex patient going home you’re actually that end coming backwards right saying we’ve got to achieve that what do we do not we need to do this to achieve that cause you start in the morning this one is going home what does he need…Yeah you’re right.
I spoke of the challenge for me as the primary investigator and said: