“Essentially, all men were beaten up, harassed, intimidated, sexually assaulted or humiliated at some point in childhood. These men who we know, love, and depend on carry out their childhood pain on others and teach others to do the same. Understanding this training gives us two handles for working with men. First, if we have learned to be violent, we can unlearn it. And since this learning came from men, the most powerful way to learn other, gentler ways is also from men. Second, if we were hurt as children, we can heal that hurt, work through the anger, and become stronger and more loving adults without retaliating or striking out (p. 96).”
Kivel, P. (1992). Men’s Work: How to Stop the Violence That Tears Our Lives Apart. Center City, MN: Hazelden.