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FOURTH STEP INVENTORY - page 13 / 14

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Column 1 checklist (We reviewed our sex conduct over the years past. Whom had we hurt?)

  • Her, him, family, friends, co- workers, etc.

  • Me with guilt or shame

  • Infecting him/her a sexually transmitted disease

  • Involving him/her in legal proceedings

  • Embarrassing him/her

  • How did I cause the hurt?

Column 2 checklist (Where had we been selfish, dishonest or inconsiderate?)

SELFISH

  • Using him/her to meet my needs for sex, attention, approval, mothering, or fathering

  • Not seeing him/her needs or problems

  • Wanting to look good or be liked

  • Taking out my emotions on him/her (anger, sadness, etc.)

  • Wanting to control him/her

  • Wanting special treatment

  • Wanting him/her to take care of me

  • Wanting more than my share

  • Not trying to be a friend

Step Four Sex Conduct Checklist*

DISHONEST (to me or others)

  • Leading someone on–saying I care for him/her more than I do because I want sex

  • Not admitting my sexual orientation

  • Thinking I'm better (grandiosity)

  • Being perfectionistic

  • Not being clear about my motive (wanting fathering, mothering, approval, approval, or sex)

  • Wanting to vent my emotions on or control him/her

  • Cheating on him/her

INCONSIDERATE

  • To her, him, family, friends, co- workers, etc.

  • Putting others or myself at risk of disease, legal involvement, and embarrassment

  • How I was inconsiderate?

Column 3 checklist (Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness)

JEALOUSY:

  • Of her, him, family, friends, co- workers, etc.

  • How did I cause jealousy (tricking, flirting, also see Suspicion, below)?

  • -

    12 -

SUSPICION:

  • Of her, him, family, friends, co- workers, etc.

  • How did I cause suspicion (lying, flirting, tricking, coming home late, etc.)?

BITTERNESS: About her, him, family, friends, co- workers, etc. About me (guilt, shame) How did I cause bitterness?

Column 4 (Where was I at fault?)

  • Was I selfish, self seeking, dishonest

or fearful, thoughtless, uncaring?

Column 5 (What should I have done instead?)

  • Not used the person

  • Respected him/her

  • Tried to be a friend

  • Been candid and open

  • Cared about him/her

  • Treated him/her as I would have

wanted to be treated

*Thanks to Anonymous in New England.

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