An experience on a hospital ward… cont’d
3. What did this session make you feel?
Embarrassed, angry, helpless, panic stricken at the end, wanting to escape from the situation.
4. What would you want to change?
My own emotional reaction to the situation. I felt powerless to help, beyond my capacity. I didn’t know if I should stay with her and try and change the sheets, or stay with her and just be there (afterwards I wondered if she was calling out ‘No!’ because she didn’t want me to go away and leave her). I know I left before checking that out with her. I didn’t wait and try and understand what she was trying to say to me in saying ‘No!’ I just left. I felt terrible.
5. What has this session has taught you?
Being on a ward can be so demanding emotionally and so unpredictable. I need to work at staying with the situation, even when it feels out of my control, not thinking of ways to escape situations I find difficult or embarrassing. I didn’t see this from the patient’s point of view, but from my own.
I probably need to talk about this with a more experienced colleague. Try and work out some way of dealing with this sort of situation.