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Indian Nations CouncilThe Greatest Show on Earth

(Sit exhausted with hands at sides of chair)

Quiet Please


THE DOG (Arf, Arf)THE PIGS (Snort, Oink)

THE POLICEMAN (Loud Whistle)THE DUCKS (Quack-quack)

THE CHICKENS (Bok-BOk-Bok)TWO BOYS (sing Row your Boat)

If there is room, appropriate motions can accompany the sounds, such as marching feet for the boys, flapping wings for chickens, etc.


It was a beautiful spring afternoon in the sleepy little town of Blodgettville.  In the balmy air the fragrance of early tulips mingled with the rich aroma of skunk cabbages in nearby marshes.  The only sounds to be heard were the faint moan of a FIRE SIREN in a neighboring village, the distant barking of a DOG, and the occasional whistle of the POLICEMAN at the main intersection.  Within the town library, someone turned a page too loudly, and the LIBRARIAN said, "SSSH!". On the main road, at the outskirts of the town, a farmer was lazily driving his animals to market.  Each time he hit a bump, the PIGS grunted, the CHICKENS squawked, and the DUCKS quacked.  Yes, all was peaceful in the sleepy little town of Blodgettville.

Suddenly, TWO BOYS appeared on the quiet street.  They were singing "ROW YOUR BOAT" and marching in time to the rhythm.  They reached the c enter of town where the POLICEMAN blew his whistle to let them cross.  Still singing, they marched up the steps of the library.  The LIBRARIAN looked up quickly and said, "SSSH".  EACH BOY took a book, then sat down at one of the tables.  One of the boys looked around the almost empty library and said, "They'd do a lot more business in here if they had comic books!" Guess what the LIBRARIAN said? That's right, "SSSh".

Outside, the DOG'S barking could be heard more strongly.  The POLICEMAN blew his whistle as a car approached the intersection, followed by the farmer's truck.  As they started up again, the woman driving the car signalled a right turn.  Oddly enough, her car made a left turn.  The farmer slammed on his brakes, and there was a LOUD CRASH (everyone clap their hands together). Down went the tail gate of the truck and out tumbled the PIGS, the crates burst and out flew the CHICKENS and the DUCKS.  The DOG, who by now was quite close, began an excited chase, barking wildly.

Frightened, the PIGS ran up the library steps, grunting, followed by squawking CHICKENS, quacking DUCKS, and yelping DOG.  The LIBRARIAN was so startled she had time to let out only one "SSSH", before a CHICKEN flew into her face.  The BOYS jumped up and delightedly burst into song.  In rushed the POLICEMAN, frantically whistling.  From across the street, old Miss Spindle saw the disturbance, and called the FIRE DEPARTMENT.

So then, at that moment in the quiet library of the quiet town of Blodgettville, these things were going on: The PIGS were grunting, the CHICKENS were clucking, the DUCKS were quacking, the BOYS were singing, the FIRE SIREN was screaming, the POLICEMAN was whistling, and the LIBRARIAN was hopelessly saying over and over again "SSSh, SSSh!". And for awhile at least, all these things were going on at the same time (EVERYBODY).

But an hour later, everything was peaceful again in the sleepy little town of Blodgettville. The PIGS, DUCKS and CHICKENS had somehow been caught and put back in the truck; the BOYS and DOG had gone home for supper, the FIRE TRUCK was back in the station house, and the POLICEMAN again stood at his post by the intersection.

And the LIBRARIAN?? Well, the LIBRARIAN looked around the library at the floating feathers, the muddy floor, the mixed up books, the overturned tables and the broken chairs.

And then, all of a sudden, the LIBRARIAN SCREAMED (EVERYBODY)

(Do not rehearse the audience on the ending; let it be a surprise)

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