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The Greatest Show on EarthIndian Nations Council

April 1994

Shape Up

Shape Up

Cub 1:I can lift an elephant with one hand.

Cub 2:I don't believe you.

Cub 1:Give me an elephant with one hand and I'll show you.

Cub 3:I can bend bars with my bare hands.

Cub 4:Iron bars?

Cub 3:No, chocolate bars.

Cub 5:Why are you jumping up and down?

Cub 6:I took some medicine and forgot to shake well before using.

The Split Ball

Characters:Bud the pitcher, Bill, the reporters, Shorty the catcher, Gentleman from Australia, Other visiting gentlemen, Two flashlight operators.

Scene:Practice field.  The front stage is very dimly lit.  Across the back is a sheet or lightweight curtain through which a light can shine.

The success of the stunt depends on the ability of the pitcher, catcher, and flashlight operators to coordinate their movements.  The pitcher pantomimes a throw.  When he says, "There," a flashlight operator turns on his light and makes it shine through the screen.  The light moves along the screen to resemble the flight of the ball.  The catcher pretends to catch the ball, and the flashlight goes off.  The movement may or may not mimic the flight of that kind of ball in a real game.

Bud comes on stage, in front of the curtain.  Bill steps up to him, followed by all the visiting Gentlemen.

Bill:Hi, Bud.

Bud:Hi, Bill.

Bill:Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Bud, the greatest pitcher in America.

Bud:Oh, come on, Bill!

Bill:It's true.  Bud, these gentlemen represent the world wide athletic association.  They wanted to see the greatest American pitcher, so I brought them right to you.

Bud:Well, I am flattered.

Bill:This is Mr. Grossman from Australia, Mr. Blackwell from England, etc.  (Add as many names and countries as you need.  Each shakes hands with Bud and then steps away.)

Grossman:Excuse me, sir.  We have heard about the different ways you pitch ball.  Would you demonstrate a few balls for us?

Bud:Glad to.  Have a seat. (points to a row of seats and they sit.)

Gentlemen:Thank you.


Shorty:(appearing)  Yes, Bud?

Bud:What shall I start with, Bill?

Bill:Start with your fast ball.

Bud:O.K. a fast ball. There! (light darts across screen, quickly. Gentlemen cheer.)

Bill:A slow ball.

Bud:O.K. a slow ball. There! (light moves very slowly across screen. Cheer.)

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