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How to Increase Your Confidence- Part 3


Doug Fields

If you haven’t been here the last two weeks I want to do everything I can to get the tapes in your hands if you’re interested in learning.  We started a series called “How to Increase Your Confidence.”  It’s been a really good series.  We started it because we’ve talked to so many students who are having a tough time with confidence.  

A lot of time we think it’s just a teenage deal.  I want to share with you something I found today. It was left in this room from a group of adults who met on Friday night.  I don’t know the person.  It was a prayer request she had written down.  “I'm recovering from drug use because my entire life I’ve been told and treated like I don’t matter by my parents.  I'm 38 years old and desperately long to be loved by my parents.  I have no self-worth.  I don’t have Christ in my life.”  She talks about praying for a decision, “Please pray that I might experience peace in my life soon.”  Thirty-eight years old, lacking confidence to interact and life in our world.  It’s not just a high school thing.  It’s not just a teenage thing.  

How do we increase our confidence?  What do we do?  Is there a plan?  Some practical steps that we can take.

Two weeks ago I started the series by saying this: the Bible makes it very clear that you and I can be forgiven.  That we don’t have to live with shame and condemnation.  When people live with this shame and condemnation what they do is hang their heads down, they might act as arrogant and cocky, like they’re on top of the world when they’re dying in a pile.  They’re feeling remorse and shame and guilt.  We talked about one of the things you can be confident about, the Bible says if you’re in Christ that can all be erased.  That can all be wiped away.  It’s called forgiveness.  If you can get your arms around this concept of forgiveness you can walk through life with confidence.  God has forgiven you.  

Then last week we said that one of the things that gives people confidence is when they feel like they have a relationship with God not a religion.  That God wants to be intimate with them.  He wants to have a relationship.  We looked at a verse where it said God wants us to call Him “Abba” meaning Daddy.  He wants us to have an intimate relationship so we can talk to Him as a best friend.  Not as this distant king who wants nothing to do with us.  We get our arms around that, that God wants a personal relationship, we can walk with confidence.

Half way through this series I want to stop and talk about how do you live with confidence when your world is falling apart?  How do you live with confidence when you have pain in your life?  One of the things that all of us have in common is that every one of us is going to go through some real deep pain.  You maybe haven’t gone through the deep pain yet.  Some of you have been through so much pain that you’re going, “I don’t want it to be any worse!”  Why do you think that suicide is such a huge killer among teenagers?  Because of all this pain that’s going on in their life.  

You’re not alone.  There are some things in this world that really stink.  There are some things in this world that help us lose our confidence.  You’re cruising along no sweat then all of a sudden, bam!  Something fractures in your life.  Some pain hits and you go, “How do I live with this?” and it drains your confidence.  And 23 years later you’re writing a prayer request about needing helping and still looking for love from your parents.  I love you enough to want to deal


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