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Make sure your kids know they did not cause the split. They will need to hear this over and over again.

Counseling may help your kids (or yourself) deal with issues. Keep in mind that your kids might like to talk to someone other than their parents about these things.

What you say to your kids about the split-up of their family has a big impact on the memories they have of this time. You as the adult may be going through a very emotional time. Remember how much more emotional it can be for your child.

Here are some things that you should NOT tell your kids:

Don’t say bad things about the other parent to your kids or to others when your kids can hear.

Don’t tell your kids that you are not receiving child support if you are supposed to be. This will only increase their feelings of abandonment.

Don’t tell your kids about your troubles, pain and anger. Although your kids may be willing to listen and help you, it will not help them. Get help from other adults and professionals, and let your kids be kids.

When Your Kids Visit the Other Parent…

It may take some time for both you and your kids to get used to them going back and forth from one house to the other. It’s normal for everyone to feel frustrated, unsure and anxious. It’s easier on your kids when they see their mom and dad working together to keep things calm and steady. Remember, they are learning how to communicate by watching what you do.


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