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don’t try to get them to give all the details.

Don’t make assumptions or jump to conclusions. If your kids seem moody after visiting the other parent, don’t assume the visit was bad. If your kids tell you about problems or things that concern you regarding the other parent, speak with the other parent before jumping to conclusions.

Here’s the big one . . . Don’t fail to show up when you say you are coming to pick up your child. Children may remember forever the feeling of abandonment this creates.


All children need consistency, and this becomes even more important for your kids after a family separation, when it seems everything is out of order. You and the other parent should:

Set up “kid rules” and “parent rules” to be followed at both houses. The kid rules will include things such as curfew and chores, while the parent rules will include things like what clothes go back and forth and which parent washes the kids’ clothes. Parent rules can also include things like respecting the other parent and no fighting in front of the kids.

Support your kids’ needs for a “home base” if they want one. Some children need a “home base,” even if they spend equal time at both houses.

Work your kids’ schedules into the visitation schedule so they can continue to do all the activities they enjoy.

Try your best to keep your kids in the same school and around their friends.

Make every effort to stick to the agreed-upon visitation schedule.

Also remember that as your kids grow and situations change (moving into a


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