Expectations begin as desires—desires that God put in us. We were all born with desires for respect, admiration, companionship, acceptance, intimacy, sex and love, among others. It is when we turn desires into expectations that we begin to turn our marriage from a covenant relationship to a contract relationship. Do you currently feel like you view your marriage as a contract between two parties or a covenant between two committed people?
Are you guilty of either of these symptoms of shifting desires to expectations? Explain.
A lack of expressing gratitude—you complain about something not getting done but rarely thank your spouse when it does get done.
A lack of acts of service—you see something that needs to be done and do nothing about it is because you expect someone else to do it.
THINK ABOUT IT
Meditate on the following verses this week: 1 Peter 3:1-2 and 3:7; 1 Peter 5:6-7; Ephesians 5:33. How do these apply to your marriage?
WHAT WILL YOU DO?
The first step in transforming your expectations is to identify them. This week identify your current expectations for marriage. What do you feel like your spouse owes you?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” 1 Peter 3:1-2
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7