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LESSON

1—HANDOUT

1

Using “I” Messages

Part 1—The Feeling Part

Change the “You” message in the first column to an “I” message in the second column.

“YOU” Message

  • 1.

    You make me so mad!

  • 2.

    You are really disorganized.

  • 3.

    You are always interrupting me.

  • 4.

    You don’t understand.

  • 5.

    You’re walking way too fast.

  • 6.

    You don’t make sense.

  • 7.

    You smoke too much.

“I” Message

I’m really feeling upset about this! I like to have things well organized.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ___________ ___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ____________________ ____________________

Part 2—The Desired Change

Read the “I” message in part one and add the desired change or action in part two.

“I” Message—Part 1 The Feeling Part

“I” Message—Part 2 The Desired Change or Action

1. I’m having some difficulty following you.

Could we go back to the first part of your story?

  • 2.

    I don’t agree, but I do hear your point.

  • 3.

    I’m concerned that this will look

bad for our team.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________

2000

IDEA

I-3

BOOK

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