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    • 4.5

      You disturb your own peace of mind.

  • 1.

    Regardless of how much wealth and how many possessions you have, you will

not have peace of mind unless you overcome feelings of envy, overcome your desires, and overcome your demand for approval. If you lack control in these areas, you will destroy your life. (based on Pirkei Avos)

2. If some incident upset you, you will merely upset yourself more by discussing it over and over. Although you are presently distressed, you will just ignore the matter it will pass in many instances. At times it can prove beneficial to talk over upsetting events with a friend. But many trivial matters will remain trivial and irrelevant if you view them in that perspective.

To master peace of mind, one needs to ignore unfortunate events unless there is some practical benefit to be gained by talking about them. At times the practical benefit might be that by telling someone of your plight, you will feel better.

When you do feel a need to talk problems over with someone, choose a person with insight who will see things objectively and will offer solutions and constructive advice. Such a person will be able to differentiate between artificial problems and real ones.

Discuss matters with someone who will be able to alleviate your negative feelings by giving constructive advice or by showing you another perspective of the situation so that you can handle it more efficiently. Avoid telling your problems to someone who will magnify them and keep re-upsetting you needlessly.

    • 4.6

      Demanding security and certainty prevents peace of mind.

  • 1.

    If your peace of mind is dependent on your being certain that you have complete

control over a situation and all the possibilities that might arise, you are bound to be disappointed. It is arrogant to think you have the ability to foresee every last thing that might go wrong. It is an impossibility, and to demand the impossible is to guarantee frustration. No human has the omniscience to foresee everything. Always realize the unexpected can occur. Plan as much as is appropriate, but realize that regardless of how much you plan there will always be difficulties that you had not previously imagined. By expecting there will always be unexpected occurrences and accepting them, you will have much greater peace of mind than if you have unrealistic expectations of complete control.

2. If many areas of our lives uncertainty is inevitable. You will cause yourself much needless pain if you demand certainty when it is not realistic to expect. If



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