GATEWAY TO HAPPINESS
4. A person who tends to feel unhappy and discouraged should be very careful about trying to work on humility. Such a person needs to focus on his virtues and strengths. Focusing on his faults and shortcomings is likely to destroy the small amount of joy he does have. (Alai Shur, vol. 1, p.65)
5. A truly distinguished and honorable person bestows honor on others and does not worry that by showing honor to someone else he is losing out on his own honor. (Rabbi Yosef Leib Bloch; Shiurai Daas, vol. 3, p.19)
6. There is an old Jewish saying, “One who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others.” This is a very important concept to keep in mind when you want to influence others. Be confident that you can succeed.
7. A person lacking internal feelings of self-worth feels a need for honor from others. The greater the lack of self-esteem, the greater the need for the validation of one’s self-worth through the approval of others. (Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol. 1, p.99)
Some of the faults a person who has low self-esteem may have are:
Sensitivity to criticism. He is defensive and hurt if someone criticizes him in any way. One aware of one’s own self-worth feels safe enough to listen to criticism and is willing to improve. As a rule, the weaker you feel, the more you try to conceal your shortcomings instead of working on them.
Over response to flattery. This could cause him much harm since an insincere flatterer might take advantage of him.
Hypercritical attitude. A person who looks at himself as inferior, feels a strong need to criticize other people. He tries to elevate himself by putting others down. The more faults he finds in others the better he feels.
Tendency towards blaming. He is afraid to take the responsibility for what he does and blames everyone except himself.
Tendency towards being reclusive and shy.
The spiritual perspective of the value of humans.
“Cherished are humans for they are created in the image of the Almighty” (Pirke
Avos 3:18) The inherent value of every person, regardless of his accomplishments, wealth, or fame, is beyond comprehension. A person who internalizes this concept won’t suffer from an inferiority complex. He loves and respects fellow humans as they have this element of divinity.
REALIZING ONE’S SELF-WORTH