GATEWAY TO HAPPINESS
Treat others with honor and respect.
Every person you meet deeply desires to be treated with respect. If you listen
carefully, you will hear their cry: “Please consider me an important person.” “Don’t embarrass me or insult me>’ “Please listen to me when I speak.” (Daas Chochmah Umussar, vol. 3, p.68)
If you learn to treat every person you meet with respect, you will have many friends throughout your life. Upon meeting people, ask yourself, “What can I say to this person to show him respect?”
2. Every person in the world waits for signs of recognition and affection from others. Students strongly wait for signs of friendliness from their teacher, and truth is that the teacher also waits for signs of friendliness from his students. Children want signs of empathy from their parents, and parent too hunger for signs of affection from their children. Children have a large degree of influence on the emotional state of their parents. A customer wants a salesperson to understand his situation and his needs. But the salesperson also has a need that the customer should not belittle him or his merchandise. (Alai Shur, vol. 1, p.191)
3. When you come into contact with another person, make a special effort to see the person’s virtues. Not only look for his good points, but try to feel pleasure when you find a new virtue in someone. A person who masters this trait lives in an entirely different world than someone who lacks it. All the people he meets have positive elements that he notices and hence he will show honor and respect to everyone. (Alai Shur, vol. 1, p.119)
4. Flexibility is a most important tool in interpersonal relations. If you are rigid in your demands that others always comply with your wishes, you might frequently get your way but you will not have close relationships with other people. Be flexible and learn to differentiate between what is important and what is not. A person who feels he must always get his way is telling himself, “If I give to others, it means I am a weakling.” The spiritual attitude is that honoring others is what makes a person honored.