V.: Do you want me to ride on the wrong side?
P.: You are driving on the wrong side.
V.: But you said that I was driving on the right side.
P.: That is right. You are on the right, and that's wrong.
V.: A strange country! If right is wrong, I'm right when I'm on the wrong side. So why did you stop me?
P.: My dear sir, you must keep to the left. The right side is the left.
V.: It's like a looking-glass! I'll try to remember. Well, I want to go to Bellwood. Will you kindly tell me the way?
P.: Certainly. At the end of this road, turn left.
V.: Now let me think. Turn left! In England left is right, and right is wrong. Am I right?
P.: You'll be right if you turn left. But if you turn right, you'll be wrong.
V.: Thank you. It's as clear as daylight.
(After G. C. Thornley)1
2. Flying instructors say that pilot trainees are divided into optimists and pessimists when reporting the amount of fuel during flights. Optimists report that their fuel tank is half full while pessimists say it's half empty. 3. The canvas homes, the caravans, the transportable timber frames — each had its light. Some moving, some still. 4. His words seemed to point out that sad, even, tragic things could never be gay. 5. It was warm in the sun but cool under the shady trees. 6. He is my best friend and he is my bitter enemy. 7. Every man has feminine qualities and every woman has masculine ones. 8. He hated to be exposed to strangers, to be accepted or rejected.
1 The text is borrowed from Look, Laugh and Learn to Speak by I. B. Vasilyeva, I. A. Kitenko, D. V. Menyajlo. L., 1970.