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Thus ended Ammu the unfortunate, remembering her drunken husband who slept away the night in a hospital bench outside the ward  unaware of the condition of his wife, Ammu, delivering her twins, Estha and Rahel  inside.  Ammu who retuned to Ayemenem for peace, disgusted and disappointed at the drunkenness of her husband for a new start in life found her death instead.   She was just thirty one.

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 36)   Laloo’s  First  English  Speech   ( ex-chief minister of Bihar and a comical figure in Indian Politics)

>>Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries and Children... "This is my >>first >>maiden speech in English. If small, small mistakes get inside my speech, I >>ask pardon. >>Stickly speaking, I wanted to reach your school more fastly, but for >>delayz due to high speed of traffic moving very slowly. >>Today, we must remember that we got independent because of great leaders >>like Gandhiji who get-outted all Angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said >>Swaraj is our birth rate and we shall halve it. Today we all halve our >>birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation. Look >>into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind. Be >>like great like 'self' or Presidents like Loosebelt of Amrika. >>You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven >>percent evaporation. They became great by reading great books. After we >>finish you here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A. >>and other decrease.  Then you can become great liars in the supreme >>courts, shattered accountants, or leach-rers in college. >>The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, school is the soil. We >>will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and one >>day will become great phools. Many vacancy job come in newspapers. Only >>yesterday I saw in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: Generators, >>highpower condensors" so and so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel, >>but you can rise. If you have flare in English, you can become teacher. >>I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God I >>am finished. Jay Hind!"

37)   English  of  a Bihari  IAS

This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC (IAS) > >Examinations. > > > >The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow: > > > >INDIAN COW > > > >HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, > >And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is > >got child.] He is sacred to Hindus and useful to man. > >But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are > >afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the > >milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses don’t > >have any such attachment] > > >What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the > >condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, waterman’s > >and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy > >species. Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, > >plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza ] , in hand , and

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