NOT an anger problem--episodes of domestic violence can occur when the abuser is calm. Anger management training frequently fails to end the abuse.
NOT due to stress--many episodes of abuse occur when the abuser is not stressed, and many people do not become violent when stressed.
NOT caused by alcohol or drugs—though these may reduce an abuser’s inhibitions or provide him with an excuse for battering, drugs and alcohol in themselves do not cause domestic violence. Stopping the use of drugs and alcohol may not stop the abuse.
NOT caused by a lack of submission on the part of the victim. Attempts at appeasement, cooperation, obedience, and offering no resistance rarely stop the abuse.
NOT caused by the victim’s behavior. Studies indicate that there is often little the victim can do to stop the abuse. Frequently, the abuser continues to abuse in subsequent relationships.
Domestic violence comes from within the batterer. Instead of choosing to respond to situations in other possible ways, the abuser chooses to use abuse. As David discovered, a victim is usually unable to stop the abuse by seeking to please the abuser or trying to meet his demands.
What are some other reasons you have heard people use to explain the cause of domestic violence?