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The Story of Saul and David:

God Teaches Us About Domestic Violence

Where is God in all the domestic violence going on?  Does He really care?  Yes!  Because God not only cares, but loves us and wants to preserve our lives, His Word includes instruction and advice about domestic violence.  One of the places we find this is in the story of King Saul and David in the book of 1 Samuel, in the Old Testament. The story of Saul and David provides a study of the patterns often seen in cases of domestic violence.

Domestic violence is a pattern of misuse of power and control used against a household member or intimate partner.  It is an attempt to coerce, intimidate, and control through emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, financial, religious, or other means.  Domestic violence is more about power and control than about gender.  The domestic violence we see King Saul carry out against David is between two males, yet it shows many of the patterns typically seen in spousal abuse today.

The story of Saul and David helps us to understand what goes on in domestic violence relationships. Even if you've already left such a situation, this portion of 1 Samuel can help you to

Deal safely with a domestic violence relationship

Understand what may have happened in a past relationship

Protect yourself in future relationships

Teach your children to recognize and respond to domestic violence that might occur in their future relationships  

You are encouraged to read ahead through chapters16-26 of 1 Samuel.  You will see that

Saul showed many of the characteristics frequently seen among domestic violence abusers, including:

1.

Blames his abuse on David, the victim  

2.

Has history of not taking responsibility for his actions, and using excuses

3.

Narcissism (the world revolves around him and what he wants)

4.

Extreme jealousy

5.

Controlling, watches his victim's every move

6.

Likes to bend or break the rules and defy the "system;" is rebellious

7.

May lie or not keep his word

8.

Repeatedly abuses, asks for forgiveness, then repeats the abuse

9.

Becomes obsessive about David and stalks him

10.

His religion was mostly an outward "show" to impress others

11.

He twists the intents and meanings of others, and sees evil in others' motives

12.

Lacks empathy, and a willingness to sacrifice others to get what he wants

13.

Is insecure

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