How Controlling Is Your Partner?
___ He forbids or criticizes your outside activities and interests.
___ He gets angry when you disagree with him.
___ When there is a problem in the relationship, he blames you.
___ He accuses you of flirting with other men when you are not.
___ He follows you to check up on you.
___ You know or suspect that he has been involved with other women.
___ He is late or stands you up for appointments or dates.
___ He sometimes drinks too much and becomes physically or verbally abusive.
___ He embarrasses you in front of other people.
___ He is critical of the way you look or dress.
___ He insists on driving the car when you go out.
___ He has hit, shoved, or threatened you.
___ He does or says things you never thought you could tolerate.
___ He stops talking to you or withdraws his affection when he wants to win an
argument or make a point.
___ He says he needs his freedom or “space.”
___ He has used physical force to make you bend to his will.
___ He doesn’t allow you to have a checking account and gives you an allowance
to pay the bills.
___ He withholds information about household finances.
___ He uses sex to quiet your doubts about the relationship.
___ He is not interested in your day.
___ He gives you extra money or buys you presents when you have been “good.”
___ He calls you a nag or accuses you of stirring up trouble if you want to talk about
the problems in the relationship.
___ He calls you by a demeaning or derogatory nickname instead of using your real
___ He doesn’t phone when he is going to be late.
___ He wants you around when he is there.
___ He has been arrested at leas once.
___ He feels uncomfortable or gets angry with you when you get attention (for instance,
because of some aspect of your job or a special accomplishment).
___ He puts down your accomplishments and abilities.
___ He discounts, trivializes, or makes fun of your feelings.
___ He often says you’re too critical.
___ He flirts with women in front of you.
___ He makes you feel sorry for him.
___ He does things that frighten you.
___ He finds fault with your friends and the people you are close to.
___ He often contradicts you.
___ He says you are crazy, stupid, or incompetent.