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How Controlling Is Your Partner?

___   He forbids or criticizes your outside activities and interests.

___   He gets angry when you disagree with him.

___   When there is a problem in the relationship, he blames you.

___   He accuses you of flirting with other men when you are not.

___   He follows you to check up on you.

___   You know or suspect that he has been involved with other women.

___   He is late or stands you up for appointments or dates.

___   He sometimes drinks too much and becomes physically or verbally abusive.

___   He embarrasses you in front of other people.

___   He is critical of the way you look or dress.

___   He insists on driving the car when you go out.

___   He has hit, shoved, or threatened you.

___   He does or says things you never thought you could tolerate.

___   He stops talking to you or withdraws his affection when he wants to win an

argument or make a point.

___   He says he needs his freedom or “space.”

___   He has used physical force to make you bend to his will.

___   He doesn’t allow you to have a checking account and gives you an allowance

to pay the bills.

___   He withholds information about household finances.

___   He uses sex to quiet your doubts about the relationship.

___   He is not interested in your day.

___   He gives you extra money or buys you presents when you have been “good.”

___   He calls you a nag or accuses you of stirring up trouble if you want to talk about

the problems in the relationship.

___   He calls you by a demeaning or derogatory nickname instead of using your real


___   He doesn’t phone when he is going to be late.

___   He wants you around when he is there.

___   He has been arrested at leas once.

___   He feels uncomfortable or gets angry with you when you get attention (for instance,

because of some aspect of your job or a special accomplishment).

___   He puts down your accomplishments and abilities.

___   He discounts, trivializes, or makes fun of your feelings.

___   He often says you’re too critical.

___   He flirts with women in front of you.

___   He makes you feel sorry for him.

___   He does things that frighten you.

___   He finds fault with your friends and the people you are close to.

___   He often contradicts you.

___   He says you are crazy, stupid, or incompetent.

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