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    A Librarian

Miss Bernadette Chen is A young Iady who worked as the assistant librarian at the Institute for Advanced Study of World Religions located at The State University of Sew Vork at Stony-brook. She was a graduate of Tung Hoi University of Taiwan in sociology. In the United States, she studied library science. Since the curriculum of social studies touches on psychology and religion, she had long since been interested in meditation. Miss Chen had no health problem, she pursued the study of meditation purely for spiritual advancement. The following report is presented to illustrate the possible side effects of meditation s the fault of a se-lfish teacher.

I had been interested in meditation since I was studying sociology. When I was working as the librarian for a specialized library located in the State University at Stonybrook, nair.ed the Library of The Institute for Advanced Study of World Religions, I had access to a wealth of religious treatise, ninety per cent of which are concerned with the Oriental religions. The Buddhist books were donated by a Chinese shipping tycoon. I was influenced by his devotion, as well as by the numerous volumes of Buddhist boote that I had a chance to read.

I had been practising meditation on my own for some time. At one point in time, I could see inside my body. Unfortunately, .when I was practising meditation with a certain Zen teacher, he passed his energy into my body through my navel and controlled my mind and my body. As I remember it now, he did that by passing his energy into my body against the normal direction of flow and created many knots in my energy pathways, I could sense two circles at that time ----- a big circle that was very weak which was myself, and a small circle that was very bright and strong which was he himself. The small circle of energy took control over the big circle. Since then, I felt not like myself anymore. I felt like his amplifier. My emotion and my reactions and my thoughts were not my own ---- just a reflection of his wishes.

I knew what happened, and I wanted to be released. I went "to San Francisco and stayed at the Dhanpa University for some time. I asked around for help, but the professors there couldn't help me. When I came back to New York, I met a different Zen master and told him about my problem. He said that the Taoist method deals with the energy channels of the body more thanB the Zen schools and he recoirimended me to Master Chia.

The first time I met Master Chia, he trieiM to locate the energy knots, sensing my energy channels with his palm. He found a major knot right-away and released the knot by injecting his own energy there through his palm. I felt the liberation of the knot instantly and I was so relieved. My spirit livened up at once and I felt my own self again.

I have practised under Master Chia for four aonths now. I can feel Chi Energy in my navel, my head etc and several other energy centres. However, I do not feel the Governor and Functional Channels circulating with ener9y. I still feel many energy knots in my body, but they are only minor knots. Whenever I produce enough energy, I feel the energy move towards those knots, heat them up and release them ----- giving me a sense o£ relief. However, since so much energy is consumed in that manner, I cannot advance very fast on the Taoist path.

Physically, I sleep better than before. I used to have much low back pain and soreness during my menses, but that has disappeared. I have felt more energetic. Most importantly, I feel that I am my own self and I am not under the control of someone else anymore.

Interview conducted in June 1980

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