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there was no apparent reason in the relationship for the interviewed parent to take that view. Amongst those 12 cases, some relationships had failed to survive, although it is clearly difficult to draw any reliable conclusions from this. On occasion, the interviewed parents gave credit to their new partners for helping them through the turmoil of the effects of the abduction, and spoke well of the other parent’s new partner, recognising the positive contribution made by that person to their child(ren)’s well-being. Those who had not formed new relationships often spoke of the emotional exhaustion they still felt and their perceived need to remain focused on the child(ren) as they did not feel that things were completely settled37in the matter. This, coupled with their hesitation to put themselves in a position of trust and reliance again, meant that they were not willing to enter new relationships.

(e) The Wider Effects of Abduction:

Almost all the interviewed effects of the abduction on

parents spoke of the wider negative those other than themselves and the

child(ren)

concerned.

One

left-behind

mother

explained

that

“these effects are long lasting and they will never go away”. There was only one possible positive wider effect noted which was the appreciation by local society, when a child was returned,

that abduction is usually not successful.

In many cases, the interviewed parents discussed the serious effects on their own parents, including illness, stress and hospitalisation. In a few cases the interviewed parent revealed that the grandparent had either committed suicide as a result, in the view of the interviewed parent, of the abduction or that the grandparent would have committed suicide if the child(ren) had not been returned. One such parent said of his mother, “Getting [the child(ren)] back gave her back her life”. In one of the “adults abducted as children” cases, the interviewed party spoke of seeing writing on her grandmother’s wall, years after the

37

See Settlement, at 15 supra.

34

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