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Bullet:  a female bull.

Adult: a person who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows in the middle.

Subbing for a Gorilla

An unemployed mime answered a want ad at the local zoo.  He was told that the zoo's star attraction, a gorilla, had recently died, and they didn't have the funds to replace him.  They offered him the job of dressing up, climbing into the exhibit, and pretending to be the gorilla during operating hours.  The mime was skeptical, but, needing the money, he reluctantly accepted.

After a few days on the job, he found himself increasingly enjoying his chance to perform, and he also loved the adoring attention of the unsuspecting zoo patrons.  And, as his antics became bolder, he found himself hanging on a tree limb taunting the lion in the adjacent exhibit to the delight of the crowd.

When the branch broke, it sent him tumbling into the lion's pen.  The crowd gasped as the lion stepped over the mime and gave a mighty roar.  The terrified mime began to shout, "Help!  Help!  Help!"

The lion angrily snapped under his breath, "Be quiet!  You're going to get us both fired!"

Cold Winter

It was October, and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.  Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets.  When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell how cold the winter was going to be.  But he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold, and the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared to be on the safe side.  But, being a practical leader, he got the idea to go to the phone booth and call the National Weather Service.  "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" he asked, when he was in the nearest phone booth.

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist replied, so the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be absolutely ready.

A week later, he called the NWS again.  "Does it still look like it's going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes, it's going to be a very cold winter."  The chief went back and ordered his people to gather every scrap of firewood they could find.

After a third assurance from the meteorologist, the chief asked, "But how can you be so sure?"

"The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy!"

A Few Late Valentine Rhymes

Roses are red;

Violets are blue;

Sugar is sweet,

And so are you.

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