Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I wish for a wall around Afghanistan, Iraq, and Iran so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious states."
Poof! And again, with the wink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around all of those countries.
The American engineer says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about five thousand feet high, five hundred feet thick, and completely surrounds those countries; nothing can get in or out. It's virtually impenetrable."
So the American engineer says, "Fill it with water."
Irish Ghost Story
It was the middle of a very dark and stormy night. A guy was on the side of the road trying to hitch-hike.
As the night rolled on, cars were scarce, and no lights lined the street. The storm was so strong that he could barely see a few feet in front of himself.
Suddenly in the distance he saw the head lights of a car coming towards him; It slowed to a stand still beside him.
Without hesitation, the guy gets into the car and closes the door only to realize that there's no one sitting behind the wheel. All of the sudden, the car begins to move. The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a sharp curve in the road coming towards him.
Scared, he starts to pray, begging for his life. Still in shock, and just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and turns the wheel. Paralyzed with terror, he watches how the hand appears every time he approaches a curve.
Gathering all of the strength he has, the guy grabs the door latch, opens the door, rolls out onto the pavement, and runs as fast as he can to the nearest town.
Dripping wet and in shock, the guy runs into a local bar and begins to tell everyone about the horrible experience he'd just gone through. Everyone is standing around in silence and amazement as they notice the guy shaking and crying, but clearly not drunk.
About half of an hour later, two guys walk into the bar and in amazement one says to the other, "Look, Mick, that's the dummy that got in the car while we were pushing it!"
A Well-Planned Life
Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school. Did you manage to have a well-planned life?"
"Yes," said her friend, "my first marriage was to a millionaire. My second was to an actor. My third was to a preacher, and now I'm married to an undertaker."
"What do those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?"
"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
Laws of Nature