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# “You’re being too padantic.” - page 8 / 11

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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to go to the bathroom.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell your boss that you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you'll have a flat tire.

Law of Variation: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you switched to.

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of Mechanics: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio-Mechanics: The worse something itches, the harder it is to reach.

Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest away from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: When you sit down with s cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Wilson's Law: When you find a product that you really like, they'll stop making it.

Boudreaux and GI Insurance

Boudreaux's first military assignment was to a military induction center, and because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about the government benefits, especially the GI Insurance to which they were entitled.

Before long, the Captain in charge of the induction center began noticing that Boudreaux was getting a 100% sign up for the top GI Insurance.

This was odd because it would cost these poor inductees nearly \$30 per month more for their higher coverage than what the government was already granting.  The Captain decided that he would not ask Boudreaux about his selling techniques, but that he would sit in the back of the room and watch Boudreaux's sales pitch.

Boudreaux stood up before his latest group of inductees and stated, "If you have da normal GI Insurance and go to Iraq and get killed, the government pays your beneficiary \$6,000.  If you take out da supplemental GI Insurance (which costs you only \$30 a month), the government has to pay your beneficiary \$200,000."

"NOW," Boudreaux concluded, "which bunch do you think dey gonna send to Iraq first?"

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