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Mujibar

Mujibar was trying to get into America legally through Immigration.

The Immigration Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test.  Unless you pass it, you cannot enter America."  Mujibar said, "I am ready now, sir, for taking your testing."

The Officer said, "Make a sentence using the words yellow, pink, and green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready."  The Officer said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up and say, 'yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you and works at Microsoft on the Help Desk.

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

1)  If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.  Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat.  Presto!  The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2)  A mouse trap, placed on top of an alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

3)  If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

4) You only need two tools:  WD-40 and duct tape.  If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.  If it does move and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

The Rope

Eleven people were hanging onto a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.  The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to drop off, otherwise they were all going to fall.

They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech.  She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband, kids, and for men in general without ever getting anything back in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all of the men applauded. 

General Equations & Statistics

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A Play on Words

1)  A bicycle can't stand alone because it's two-tired.

2)  What's the definition of a will?  It's a dead giveaway.

3)  Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4)  A backwards poet writes inverse.

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