THE “FUCK FRIEND”TREND
Is it “cool” to have a “fuck friend”?
Will your daughter want to imitate her friends one day and engage in certain sexual practices just because everyone else is doing it or to fit in? Here's how you can respond: “Is this the first time that you heard these words? Some girls and boys say they have“fuck friends” to be cool and show off, but they don't necessarily have one.Maybe the 6th grader you overheard in the school- yard was just pretending. In the future, someone might suggest that you engage in sexual contact with them. It's very important not to jump into something you're not sure of. Please come to me and we'll talk about it
Invite your daughter to talk to you about her friend- ships with girls and with boys.You will help her develop the critical judgement needed to make sense out of all the sex talk out there, whether it comes from her friends, magazines or the media. She will then be able to decide what's right for her and what she should stay away from. Encourage her to express herself and to make choices that respect her values. You might also want to notify school personnel about what the 6th grader said; they may want to discuss it with the child's parents.
TALKING ABOUT LOVE
Will she have one anyway?
Do you feel powerless to protect your daughter from outside pressure? How can you influence your daugh- ter's future choices? Take the initiative and talk to her about love, sharing your own experiences with her. “You're wondering if you will have a “fuck friend”. I also had many questions about sex and love when I was your age. Do you sometimes wonder how people get together? I had a few “boyfriends” but they were most- ly just friends. Then I met a boy I fell in love with. I was really attracted to him, I thought about him constantly and we spent a lot of time together.We discovered that
we had the same feelings for each other. We couldn't stop touching each other and thought about being inti- mate. We were really in love. If he had been my “fuck friend” I would have missed all that. One day, you'll find someone special who feels the same way about you, and you'll want to share a loving relationship.”
Use this time to talk to your daughter about the various aspects of loving relationships, such as sharing, intima- cy and trust.These are the elements that are often miss- ing when sex is just about physical sensation. Use your
Your daughter may have heard the term “fuck friend” from her friends or from magazines aimed at adoles- cents. Lacking information or critical understanding, your child may think that having a “fuck friend” is the thing to do or the path to popularity. If you are not sure about a magazine's or a favourite TV show's content, you can read it before you buy it for your daughter or watch the show with her, to see if it's appropriate for someone her age. However, you can't supervise all the conversations your daughter will hear or overhear in the schoolyard. That is why it's better to encourage her to develop critical thinking skills, a capacity for judge- ment and self-esteem.
own experiences to share information with your daughter; it will give your conversations a more person- al tone that might encourage her to confide in you about her own experiences and questions.
Your daughter may sometimes indirectly ask you about sex. She wants to know your opinion. Respond to her questions seriously, without judging or teasing her. Show her that she can confide in you and discuss sexu- ality in complete trust and discretion.Let your daughter know that you love her. It will encourage her to love herself, love others and be loved in return, when the time is right.