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Tropical Times

April 2004 Key NorthWest Newsletter

Hey There Parrot Heads!

We hope that you are enjoying our lovely weather.

Bephore we get into the news items, we'd like to let you know that our next club phlocking is on April 24 at 2:00 pm at Pambiche Restaurant, located at 2811 NE Glisan in Portland, OR (503) 233-0511. If you haven't been there before (or even if you have!) here's a review of the place, FYI: http://www.realgoodfood.com/pambiche.html. Beth is graciously sponsoring this phlocking. Go Beth!

Here's what's happening!


The "License to Chill" Tour 2004 starts off in Tampa on April 22. The conphirmed tour dates, so far, are listed below. Bephore that gets going, Jimmy and the band will be playing at a benefit on Friday April 16, 2004 on the Beach at the Breakers on Palm Beach , FL starting at 7:00 pm with "Serious Drinks and Food (served throughout the evening)" and at 8:30 pm the concert starts. Tickets are $750 per person benefiting the Alzheimer’s Association, Palm Beach Day School and the Academy of the Palm Beaches. Dress: Whatever For tickets and information call Deb at 561-832-8815.

Conphirmed "License to Chill 2004" Tour Dates (So Far)

Thursday, April 22 - Tampa, FL - St. Pete Times Forum Saturday, April 24 - Charlotte, NC - Coliseum Tuesday, April 27 - Raleigh, NC - RBC Center Thursday, April 29 - Columbia, SC - Colonial Center

Saturday, May 1 - Ft Lauderdale, FL - Office Depot Center Tuesday, May 18 - Denver, CO - Pepsi Center Thursday, May 20 - Minneapolis, MN - Target Center Saturday, May 22 - Columbus, OH - Schottenstein Center Wednesday, May 26 - Atlanta, GA - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheater - SOLD OUT Saturday, May 29 - Dallas, TX Texas Stadium - On Sale April 3

Tuesday, June 29 - Camden, NJ - Tweeter Center Thursday, July 1 - Cuyahoga Falls, OH - Blossom Music Center - On Sale April 10 Saturday, July 3 - Bristow, VA - Nissan Pavilion Tuesday, July 6 - Indianapolis, IN - Verizon Wireless Music Thursday, July 8 - Indianapolis, IN - Verizon Wireless Music Saturday, July 10 - East Troy, WI - Alpine Valley

Thursday, August 26 - Chicago, IL - Tweeter Center Saturday, August 28 - Chicago, IL - Tweeter Center Tuesday, August 31 - Cincinnati, OH - Riverbend

All of these dates are on sale or sold out, except the Dallas show on May 29 (On Sale date: April 3) and the Ohio show on July 1 (On Sale date: April 10). Speaking of the May 29 Dallas show, here's some inphormation about that stadium (!?!) show:



(Houston, TX) – Jimmy Buffett, Alan Jackson, George Strait will join together for the first-time ever, Saturday, May 29, 2004 at the Texas Stadium in Dallas. The three superstars will share equal billing as they perform individually and together. Jackson will kick off the concert, followed by Strait and then Buffett. The show will close with a finale of all three. Tickets go on sale to the general public Saturday, April 3rd at 10:00 a.m. Tickets may be purchased at all Ticketmaster outlets by calling 214-373-8000 and online at http://www.ticketmaster.com

Texas treasure, George Strait holds the career record for CMA nominations with seventy-one and the record for the most number one singles by a single artist in any genre. Strait has released 31 albums, all of which have hit gold or platinum status, selling over 62 million copies total. His latest won the 2000 CMA Award for Vocal Event of the Year for “Murder on Music Row” and toured together during the 2001 George Strait Country Music Festival.

Reigning CMA Entertainer and Male Vocalist, Alan Jackson is currently nominated for eight ACM Awards including Single, Song, Video and Vocal Collaboration of the Year for the eight-week #1 hit, "It's Five O'clock Somewhere" with Jimmy Buffett. Propelled by the success of "It’s Five O'clock Somewhere" and the chart-topping, "Remember When" (Jackson's 31 #1 single), his Greatest Hits Volume II CD was recently certified triple platinum. Jackson's 2004 tour is one of country's hottest tickets on the road with capacity crowd concerts across the country.

In 2003, singer/songwriter Jimmy Buffett released Meet Me in Margaritaville: The Ultimate Collection - a two-CD retrospective certified double platinum, a mini DVD “MiniMatinee #1”, and four live double CDs from select shows on his 2003 summer tour. His newest CD, License to Chill, is scheduled for release later this year and includes cuts with both Strait and Jackson. Buffett is nominated for four ACM Awards including Single, Song, Vocal Event and Video of the Year for “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere.” Buffett and Jackson won Vocal Event of the Year at the 2003 Country Music Association Awards for their duet and were nominated for a 2004 Grammy Award.

Other locations are being negotiated, including Fenway Park in Boston:

Jimmy Buffett concert proposal center stage at City Hall

By Associated Press Monday, March 22, 2004

Boston licensing officials are expected to decide within the next month whether to allow a pair of Jimmy Buffett concerts at Fenway Park in September.

The Red Sox formally applied for a license for the two shows today, while conceding that tailgating in the neighborhood could be a problem.

Mayor Tom Menino, a Buffet fan, wants to convert a neighborhood parking lot owned by the Red Sox into a tailgating spot for Parrotheads, as Buffett fans are called. But that idea has some Fenway neighbors concerned.

City Councilor Michael Ross said at today's City Hall hearing that he wants the words ``no tailgating'' printed on the tickets to the Buffett shows.

Fenway Park had never hosted a major rock concert until Bruce Springsteen played there last summer. Some neighborhood residents complained about noise levels following those shows.

Jimmy Buffett might play at Fenway Park

BOSTON (AP) By Jennifer Graylock, AP

First they hosted The Boss. Now the owners of the Boston Red Sox are hoping for a siege of Parrotheads at Fenway Park.

Look for Buffett to play Fenway Park on or around September 10 and 12.Team officials have applied to the city for entertainment licenses to stage Jimmy Buffett concerts on Sept. 10 and 12. It would be the second big act to play Fenway in a year after Bruce Springsteen's shows last summer, the first rock concerts in the venerable park's history. Mayor Thomas Menino, a Buffett fan, said there's no reason the show shouldn't go on, and said he wants to convert a neighborhood parking lot the Red Sox own into an all-day party spot for Parrotheads, as Buffett fans are called. "They can come together and have their trailers and their parties, and they won't be on the streets," Menino said. "It will be Parrothead Village. "

But some neighbors who complained about noise and vandalism during Springsteen's two concerts were angry about the Buffett plans. "When we supported it last year, we supported it as a one-time special event," said Bill Richardson, president of the Fenway Civic Association. "We don't think that Fenway Park is an appropriate place for a regular concert venue. It throws a kink into the whole stadium-neighborhood dynamic." Councilor Michael P. Ross, who represents the Fenway and Kenmore neighborhoods, said steps must be taken to minimize traffic and noise. "The Red Sox tend to care about their reputation in the neighborhood," Ross said. "If it goes off perfectly, this could be something people are willing to consider in subsequent years." Red Sox senior vice president Larry Cancro said concerts at Fenway could be a yearly event. "It's not the kind of thing we'd do every weekend; maybe we could do it once a year," Cancro said. "The majority of the people are going to be pleased and come out with a situation that's going to help the overall neighborhood feel good."

and speaking of Boston, here's an article about Massachusetts Parrot Heads that helps people figure out what this Parrot Head thing is about, anyway:

Parrotheads a tame bunch

By Eileen McNamara, Globe Columnist, 3/28/2004

They don't seem so scary, Patty Pitreau and Bill Guerrette. A little fashion-challenged, maybe, if you harbor a particular distaste for Hawaiian shirts or aquamarine flip-flops, but definitely not frightening.

Patty is a bookkeeper, married to the same man for 28 years, the mother of two grown children. Bob works in manufacturing. He and his wife have also reared two kids, now 29 and 24.

These are the folks who strike fear into the heart of the Fenway.

The Pitreaus and the Guerrettes are Parrotheads. Guerrette would have gotten back to me sooner to explain what that means, he said, but he was busy setting fires and overturning cars. (He was kidding.)

The Pitreaus and the Guerrettes are members of The Parrot Head Club of Eastern Massachusetts, a group of 600 ordinary people with an extraordinary devotion to Jimmy Buffett, the Mississippi-born balladeer who has built a mythical Margaritaville out of Americans' collective fantasies of tropical paradise. That his hits -- "Come Monday," "Margaritaville," and "Changes in Attitudes, Changes in Latitude," -- came in the 1970s is a measure of the enduring power of that myth.

Buffett is not a regular at the top of the Billboard charts. His songs do not garner national music awards. The paparazzi do not trail his every move. But the man sells out concert venues faster than Britney Spears can strip down to her underwear. Middle-age men and women, dreaming of a more vivid, colorful life after 9-to-5, find it in the images of turquoise seas, sandy beaches, and sweet umbrella drinks evoked by Buffett's tequila soaked songs. "Most of us are over 40, college-educated, career professionals," said Guerrette. "The songs resonate. Who wouldn't want to escape to the tropics?"

Bill and Patty are codirectors of the 10th annual New England Parrot Head Convention, to be held next February in Danvers, where they hope to raise $25,000 for Special Olympics in keeping with the Parrothead motto to "party with a purpose." This year's convention in Connecticut collected almost $33,000 for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

"Parrotheads are Dead Heads with jobs," Guerrette said, a reference to the zealous rock fans who followed the Grateful Dead. There are no psychedelic buses behind Buffett's tour bus, but there are RVs and hatchbacks outfitted with hibachis and cocktail shakers to render those frozen concoctions that help the faithful hang on until a luau blooms in the parking lot.

Guerrette is sensitive to neighborhood concerns about the noise and traffic that a Buffett concert at Fenway Park would generate, but a little planning ought to resolve those issues, he said. The park attracts thousands of fans to scores of Red Sox games every season, after all.

What offends him and his fellow Parrotheads, is the comparison of Buffett fans to the drunken college students who turned Kenmore Square into a free-fire zone after the New England Patriots' Super Bowl win last month.

"Our club volunteered 3,000 hours of community service last year," he said. "We man water stations at charity road races. We volunteer at the annual canoe race for the Charles River Watershed Association. I've never even heard an argument break out at a Buffett tailgating party.

An outbreak of indigestion is more likely. "We set up our tents, tables, chairs, grills, coolers, and proceeded to cook bacon, eggs, sausage, homefries, English muffins, coffee, and everything else for an awesome breakfast," said Patty, recalling last summer's 10 a.m. arrival in the Tweeter Center parking lot for an 8 p.m. concert. "Anyone walking by was welcome to the feast. This sort of thing goes on all day long. Everyone cooking up their specialties and sharing with the crowd, walking around and saying hello to old and new friends, basking in the sun and listening to Buffett CDs." It's hard to riot on a full stomach.

Here's some trivia phor you trivia buphs:

Waxing lyrical – a treasure trove of useless information for song triviots Wednesday March 24, 2004 Angus Lind

Say what you want about trivia, but when you think about it, it's pretty trivial, if you ask me.

No, that's not the deep thinking found in Larry King's old column, not even the wisdom of that great philosopher of the obvious, Yogi Berra, who gets credit for "A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."

It's jus' plain ol' trooth. Triviots of the world -- in this case, song triviots -will delight in some of this useless information:

The hit song "The Joker" by The Steve Miller Band contains the word "Pompatus," which does not show up in the dictionary. And why should it? It doesn't exist. It is a word made up for the line "I speak of the Pompatus of Love," only because it fit.

Speaking of made-up stuff, ever try to decode the lyrics of "Louie Louie," by The Kingsmen? Many have tried, but basically it's an exercise in futility. Supposedly, even the FBI got into the act, apparently thinking it was some subversive plot.

In what must have been a slow year for the feds, they played the song backwards and at different speeds (a popular exercise when Tyrannosaurus Records roamed the Earth at speeds varying from 33 RPM to 45 RPM and even 78 RPM). And found the lyrics were . . . indecipherable.

Which brings to mind: Is something ever cipherable?

If you love trivia, comments about trivia, innuendoes, opinions, half-truths, rumors and speculation, and like listening to people who think they know what they're talking about analyze song lyrics, then you can waste hours -- as I did -- messing around the Web site www.songfacts.com.

And you'll come away with some incredibly useless information that you can use to fill up dull moments at cocktail parties, chase away the opposite sex or bore anyone who will listen.

Such as:

Jimmy Buffett hates margaritas. Don't buy him one. (Buy me one. I love margaritas.) "Margaritaville" is the most-played song in the world, reportedly playing somewhere every eight minutes.

Impressive stuff.

The Fats Domino classic "Blueberry Hill" was turned down by one publisher because he claimed that blueberries don't grow on hills. But of course they do. Strawberries, however, grow in fields. That's why the Beatles song was "Strawberry Fields" and not "Strawberry Hills."

Gosh, it's fun to make up stuff.

One of Al "Jumbo" Hirt's biggest hits was a song named "Java." Inspired by coffee, you say. No way. "Java" was named after a race horse, since the publisher/co-composer, Danny Kessler, was a frequent visitor to the race track. The other composer? Allen Toussaint.

Now here's some stuff you can sink your teeth into. The world record for the most people performing one dance at one time was set by some 50,000 people in Yankee Stadium dancing to the "Macarena," a song by Los Del Rio that could drive you up a wall. "Macarena," by the by, is a female name meaning "Mother of God" and La Macarena is one of the eight sections of Seville, Spain, the source of the song's name.

And on that same wall "Macarena" drove you up, you could find "Who Let the Dogs Out" by Baha Men. If "We Will Rock You" didn't strain your sanity at Saints games, this one did. And imagine -- a song whose lyrics are a bunch of "Woofs!" -- won the 2000 Grammy for Best Dance Recording.

Seemingly always used after a big play is made by the home team (so not used as frequently here as in other stadiums), it got out of control during the 2000 World Series between the Yankees and Mets when a reporter asked Yankees manager Joe Torre if he knew who let the dogs out.

Ah, those clever sportswriters -- always looking for an angle for a lead on their stories.

One comment about the song was especially poignant: "This song sucks and should be burned and then stabbed and locked in a safe and shot into space."

Don't you just wish people would speak their minds and not hold back?

We've all heard another one of Fats Domino's legacy of hits, "I'm Walking." Ever wonder where the title came from? Me neither. But, it was apparently inspired by someone who saw Fats walking after his car broke down one night, as in, "Hey, look at Fats Domino, he's walking!" Well, what would you do if your car broke down? Swim? Sorry, cell phones weren't around in 1957.

The Troggs recorded "Wild Thing" in 1966. Troggs is short for "troglodyte," meaning "cave dweller." "Wild Thing" got reborn with the 1989 movie "Major League," in which Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) was a pitcher who couldn't find home plate. After getting glasses, he turns into a star but "Wild Thing" remained his theme song and was played when he came in from the bullpen.

Asked the same question for the zillionth time, "What does the song 'American Pie' mean to you," composer/singer Don McLean replied, "It means never having to work again for the rest of my life."

Finally, and most importantly, when The Beatles were about to record "Hey Jude" in 1968, Ringo was in the john when the recording started, but made it to his drums just before his cue.

Next time you hear that song, turn on your visual imagery mechanism

Want A Bikini With That Cell Phone? April 1, 2004 (11:44 a.m. EST) TechWeb News

AT&T Wireless, working to staunch the flow of subscribers leaving the service, has come up with what it thinks is a sure-fire feature to keep users in the fold: it's the first cell-phone service provider to offer the Sports Illustrated swimsuit collection as mobile-phone wallpaper. The provider, Summus Inc., announced Wednesday that it has launched the downloadable wallpaper service. “Each month,” Summus said in a statement, “a new model will be featured through new photographs, including exclusive photos not available anywhere else.” The photos will be available for $1.99 each through AT&T Wireless's mMode service. Sam Hall, vice president of mMode services, noted in a statement that users can enjoy the popular Sports Illustrated offering--the swimsuit edition is the most widely read single issue of any magazine in the world--“simply by glancing down at their phone screen.” Summus, which develops wireless multimedia applications, said the swimsuit photos will eventually be offered to more than 100 million cell-phone subscribers.

In case you missed them here are a phew local Key NorthWest restaurant reviews phrom the Oregonian:

One cool Cajun cafe


How cool is Cool Runnings Cafe?

Cool enough to take its name from the movie about the antics of Jamaica's first Olympic bobsled team. Cool enough to take a sleepy storefront on Northeast Fremont and turn it into a neighborhood focal point. Cool enough to serve a spicy mix of Jamaican and Deep South specialties -- and do both pretty well.

And cool enough to lure brewmaster Craig Nicholls back to the Alameda area, where he once was in charge of suds at nearby Alameda Brewhouse. For Cool Runnings he's created three special ales and lagers designed to pair with chef Cal Ferris' fusion of Cajun and Caribbean.

You're likely to want a second pint to tame the heat of the mixed grill platter, a sort of greatest hits culling of dishes from across the menu, featuring jerk chicken, smoked Andouille sausage and barbecued pork ribs, plus collard greens and black-eyed peas. Talk about indecision paying off.

Other dishes are hearty, too. A starter of vegetable-stuffed portobello mushrooms really is entree-size, as are the Cajun pan-fried oysters; the dish reflects Ferris' background in the kitchen of Jake's Famous Crawfish, as does a knockout blackened catfish fillet.

A couple of dishes need more polish: the seafood etouffee has plenty of plump shrimp, but the roma tomatoes were overcooked. And jambalaya, which should be a signature, was mushy.

As cool as Cool Runnings is, it's hot in one unfortunate way: During several recent visits, the dining room was as stuffy as an afternoon in Kingston. Or perhaps that was the point?

Cool Runnings Cafe is at 4110 N.E. Fremont St.; 503-282-2118. Serving lunch and dinner Mondays-Saturdays, and breakfast Saturdays-Sundays. Grade: B -- Grant Butler

Savannah's sweet sizzle


Back in its heyday as the Couch Street Fish House, the Old Town space that's currently home to Savannah Caribbean Restaurant and Bar positively screamed out to be a jazz nightclub. With its distinct 1960s vibe of Naugahyde cool, it was the sort of place you could imagine listening to straight-ahead sax playing over ice-cold martinis.

The Couch Street folks never figured it out. But Savannah has, filling the vacuum left by the recent closure of nearby Jazz de Opus with a music calendar that offers standing weekly gigs to such Portland jazz luminaries as Bobby Torres, Nancy King and Ron Steen.

The sounds aren't the only thing that's catching fire here. The East Indian cooking from Trinidad native Ken Harry has a heat all its own. The spicy pork ribs and Caribbean hot wings have enough sizzle to make you break out in a mild sweat, yet they don't go so overboard on the hot peppers that you need to notify next of kin.

The same nuanced approach accents such main dishes as the pork tenderloin, where the spice rub accentuates the meat's flavor without overshadowing it. It's only with the lamb and chicken curries that you want a more assertive approach. There also isn't a lot of muscle to the single dessert option, a Key lime pie that has a too-runny texture.

After Couch Street closed, a short-lived Indian restaurant gutted the dining room of most of its charm. The curved booths disappeared and the place had a dingy, run-down feel. Savannah has livened up the space with brightly colored fabric lanterns and new furnishings that restore most of the swank.

Savannah Caribbean Restaurant and Bar is at 105 N.W. Third Ave.; 503-274-2510. Open for dinner Tuesdays-Saturdays. Grade: B-

  • --

    Grant Butler

And, for you buffalo wing fans out there, here are some reviews of the new Hooters in Beaverton.

Phirst, Willamette Week:

You really wanna know why Portland's never gonna be a big city? Why New York, Los Angeles, even Maui will always rule, forcing Stumptown forever to remain a younger, dorkier sibling? The answer is Planet Hollywood.

Let me explain. Cheesy and lame as they may be, restaurants like Planet Hollywood and Hard Rock Cafe pop up in cities where people want to go. Big-city kind of places. People, tourists usually, flock to these chains not for the culinary explorations or the movie- lot memorabilia, but to say they've been there, man.

In this town, we've got no Bruce Willis memorabilia. No Jimi Hendrix guitars. No Michael Jackson anything.

But, as of March 15, we do have something on par with those shlocky imports.

Well, sort of.

Hooters is now open for business in Beaverton.

Hundreds of little leaguers, NASCAR dads and slightly giddy young men and women stood outside on opening night, waiting to be the first in Oregon to experience the Hooters girls, the big-screen televisions and--almost as popular as the women in the tiny, tight orange shorts--the buffalo wings.

It's obvious from the hourlong wait time and the enthusiasm of the patrons that there is something about the Hooters experience that is bigger than the push-up bras of its waitresses. One man I talked to has been to various Hooterses in five states and three countries. Including Taiwan. There was also a group for a boy's 12th birthday.

Hooters sells a lot of wings. On this opening night, Hooters' buffalo wings--which can be ordered in groups of 10, 20 and 50-- practically flew themselves to the dining tables. These little beasts are golden-brown and sinful. Trouble is, they're not very good. They reek of the deep fryer (for a leaner experience, order them "naked") and the secret sauce isn't as salty-sweet, or as messy, as I'd imagined.

The Hooters girls, to their credit, are lovely enough. The outfits--tank tops, nylon shorts, scrunchie socks--make them look more like Jazzercise instructors than servers, especially if you consider that the outfits haven't been updated since the first Hooters opened in the '80s. In between serving what may be the coldest beer on the planet, these ladies stop to sign autographs. Cocktail waitresses as instant celebrities.

Reason enough to visit the suburbs?

and then the Oregonian weighs in, before it opened:

Hooters' mixed message on menu in Beaverton

Oregon's first franchise of the restaurant known for food, fun, sports and innuendo will be among the chain's biggest



BEAVERTON -- Hooters, the national chain of bar-restaurants opening Saturday its first franchise in Oregon, is like the smirk that follows, "I admire you for your mind."

It's replete with mixed messages.

The local franchisee says it's primarily a place for men, women and families to enjoy bar food, televised sports and beer served by friendly, all-American girls who happen to wear tight T-shirts and shorts. But the company's own marketing material acknowledges: "Sex appeal is legal, and it sells."

You see more skin at the average public beach, but with its Miss Hooters contests, its calendars and its corporate slogan -- "Delightfully Tacky, Yet Unrefined" -- Hooters delivers an unsubtle elbow to the ribs, frat-house-style.

Even the chain's name and logo celebrate the most obvious, noncerebral qualities of women. But Hooters girls, as the company calls its waitresses, also earn a nice income from tip-happy customers, and the company says it has a rigorous antiharassment policy.

And now Hooters stands at Beaverton's front door. The restaurant, which franchisee Mike Storm says is among the biggest in the 358-store chain, will be the first of 10 to 12 planned for Oregon. He expects to open a second this year in the Clackamas area.

The privately held parent company doesn't disclose much information about itself, but Fortune magazine estimated Hooters' 2003 revenues at $750 million and listed it as the country's 10th largest full-service restaurant chain. Hooters, which turns 21 this year, has been around as long as many of its employees.

The Hooters formula

In an era when Janet Jackson bares her breast on national television, Hooters no longer shocks like it did in the 1980s.

Like other sports bars, Hooters restaurants can be found in the most mainstream of places: enclosed shopping malls, pedestrian districts and well-traveled suburban streets. They feature kids menus, with grilled cheese, hot dogs, kids' wings and other family fare.

Storm says the formula of cold beer, televised sports, good food and girls would work just as well if the restaurant were called "Joe's." But others disagree.

"That's just disingenuous. What they want the brand to stand for is breasts," said Robert Aughenbaugh, the president of ID Inc., an award-winning Portland branding consultancy. "Their whole point is to walk this fine line. Hooters is like the Disney version of a strip club, where you can take the whole family."

Counters Storm: "Mothers wouldn't bring their Little League soccer teams in here if it wasn't a fun environment."

Yet he acknowledges that Hooters can polarize people, even to the point of triggering protests. And a little polarization, he says, signifies that a product is interesting.

Heart of Beaverton

In Beaverton, Hooters is being greeted with a mixture of enthusiasm, grumbling and indifference -- but no obvious opposition.

The first Oregon restaurant has settled at the corner of Beaverton Town Square, across the street from Beaverton City Hall, in a long- vacant building that housed an Asian restaurant and, before that, a Rose's Deli.

About 32,000 vehicles pass the orange Hooters sign daily, according Oregon Department of Transportation estimates. Storm and his architects and engineers at Group Mackenzie have added a faux water tower to the entrance, giving the shopping center a distinctive new landmark.

Across Southwest Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway from Hooters and beyond City Hall stands the all-nude Stars Cabaret, and another few blocks away, there is a neighborhood park and St. Cecilia Catholic Church.

The Rev. Pat McNamee, who presides at St. Cecilia, isn't celebrating Hooters' arrival.

"It's just one more place that exploits women," he said.

McNamee says he plans no protest or formal complaint because Hooters is "going to be in there anyway. It's for adults, and adults are capable of making their own decisions."

At City Hall, officials are ambivalent. They are happy to have the private-sector investment and 170 new jobs at a formerly vacant location. But they wish the business benefits would have arrived with different packaging.

Linda Adlard, chief of staff to Beaverton Mayor Rob Drake, says she was aware of no complaints about Hooters arrival. Personally, though, she isn't thrilled about it.

With Hooters, Stars Cabaret and the Fantasy Video adult movie store on the other side of Oregon 217, "I wouldn't want my teenagers walking there," she said.

Fewer protests

Hooters openings no longer generate a storm of controversy, but some people still find them offensive.

Four years ago in Champaign, Ill., the new Hooters drew a crowd of protesters. One of their leaders was Ruth Wyman, an alderwoman from neighboring Urbana, Ill., and then-president of the Champaign County chapter of the National Organization for Women.

Now, as then, she objects to the message Hooters sends to children.

"If a 5-year-old goes to Hooters with her dad, the message is, 'This is what you should aspire to be. This is your value,' " Wyman said.

Instead, she says, girls should be encouraged to exercise their intellects.

But Wyman acknowledges that protests like the one in Champaign have become more rare. Part of the reason, she thinks, is that Hooters waitresses greet protesters with free chicken wings and coffee. Such a made-for-TV-news response appears to pit women against women and that's not the intention, she says.

Storm says Hooters in Beaverton has been flooded with job applications, especially from young women. The restaurant had more than 900 applicants for its 170 jobs, and Storm and his publicist delight in telling their stories: the woman who was encouraged to apply by her church group; the woman whose mother suggested she apply; the women who are working their ways through college.

"It's a really fun place," Storm said. The people who object to Hooters "miss the whole point of the place. It's about fundamentals: your friends, cold beer and sports. The fundamental values of life."

and then they went after it was actually open:




QUEER EYE FOR THE HOOTERS GUY -- There have been better pickup lines.

The Hooters Girl approached the trio of men at the next table with a bubbly-sounding query: "How are you guys doing?"

"Better," one of the men growled back, "now that you're here."

And so it went Monday during the grand opening of Hooters (11995 S.W Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway, Beaverton; 503-646-9464). This first Oregon outlet of the Atlanta-based chain of more than 350 restaurants had lines streaming out the front door during its first lunch rush. Given that the main attraction is scantily clad waitresses -- skin-tight orange short-shorts and low-cut T-shirts designed to amplify what's already quite ample -- it's not surprising that the place was packed with rowdy men. Straight men. Men ready to drink beer, down plates of hot wings and, most of all, lust after the hired help. And me, drinking in the irony of the place with a couple of buddies who are decidedly more in Hooters' target demographic.

Instead of being shocking, Hooters is perhaps the restaurant embodiment of cynical Janet Jackson Nation. While Miss Nasty's calculated wardrobe malfunction outraged some during the Super Bowl, it's unlikely that any of the gentlemen gathered here were angered by the exposure. Here, knockers are knock-knock jokes. Billboards around town plug the place in crass euphemisms: "Hooters. Beaverton. Genius?" A garish sign over the dining room says "Hooters Girls are flattery operated." And the menu boasts "Hooters Calendar: The only way you'll get a date in this place."

But the joke seemed lost on the guys at the next table, flirting shamelessly, clearly wanting something on the side other than blue cheese dressing. But the pickup lines seem unlikely to work as well as the pickups parked out front. That's because, in the end, Hooters is sexual without being the least bit sexy. Its celebration of the female anatomy is in your face -- literally, in the case of a first- day customer in a wheelchair, who had three different Hooters Girls bend down just enough so that their chests were in his line of sight, an ADA-era take on the Playboy Club "bunny dip." Yet like the notoriously awful movie "Showgirls," this place is so relentless in its pressing of the flesh that it quickly becomes boring.

OK, maybe it's just me.

Beyond the Hooters Girls, this place is a moneymaking machine. There's the counter of trinkets up front with all manner of shot glasses, license plates, magazines and T-shirts. And there's the food.

Uh, yes . . . the food. This is a restaurant, after all. The Hooters signature Buffalo hot wings were meaty and just spicy enough to make you break a sweat. And there was a substantial grilled mahi mahi sandwich. But then there were the cold Buffalo shrimp, the limp curly fries and the leathery, smothered chicken sandwich, a fowl mess of cheese and mushrooms. Nothing here to make me cancel my next meal at Crush.

If there's any gaydar at work at Hooters, it's not with the waitresses. When I asked one about the whereabouts of the restroom (I should have spotted it from the "Used Beer Dept." sign, but I rarely get Farrelly brothers-style bathroom humor), my shoulders were enthusiastically caressed. So I've been mildly felt up by a Hooters Girl -- who would've guessed?

Then another Hooters Girl approached our table: "You fellas hungry?" she purred suggestively. "You sure look hungry."

Yes, kitten. But just for the hot wings.

Back to the news:

Jimmy's newest book called "A Salty Piece of Land" is supposed to come out in May and his newest album called "License to Chill" is currently scheduled to be released in June.

Locally we have a phew events coming up:

On April 9 and 10 the Spring Beer and Wine Fest is happening at the Oregon Convention Center from noon to 11:00 pm. On Saturday, April 17 Little Feat is coming to the Columbia Theatre for the Performing Arts in Longview, Washington. On April 24 in addition to our club phlocking, we will be helping at the SOLV-IT that morning. Check the web page for the location. Phrom April 30 to May 2, the Phins to the West Parrot Head "convention" is going on in Laughlin, Nevada. Phor more inphormation on these and many other events, please check out the calendar on our web page at: http://www.keynorthwest.org.

Phinally, here's a picture of the Key NorthWest advance krewe and phriend overlooking the harbor where Jimmy's Dad celebrated his phirst birthday on November 25, 1921.

We hope that you are enjoying the weather and that it suits your clothes. We look phorward to seeing you at one of our upcoming events

Phins Up Phrom all of us to all of you!

Chris and Andrea Sloan Phearless Leaders Key NorthWest Parrot Heads

Club Web Page: http://www.keynorthwest.org

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