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49 50 51

Douglas Ayling

z The problem of service continues to plague Soviet consumer life, as two American tourists discovered in the dining room of a Moscow hotel when they ordered coffee. “Waiter, this is filthy,” said one of the Americans on seeing the coffee placed before them. “Please bring clean cups.” A few minutes later, the waiter returned with two cups of coffee. “Now which of you ordered the clean cup?” he asked.49

USSR ‘88 (J)

z It was a bitterly cold day, but still the line in front of the butcher shop continued to grow. After a few hours, the shop manager emerged from the store to make an announcement. “All the Jews in line must leave,” he shouted. A number of dejected people stepped out and, muttering to themselves, walked away. Several more hours passed with no movement in the line. The shop manager re-emerged. “Citizens, I am sorry to report, but there will be no meat available today,” he announced. One shivering person, still standing in line, turned to another and remarked, “Those damned Jews, lucky again.”50

z The good fairy came to old Khaimovich in his sleep. “Ask for anything and it shall be yours,” said the fairy. “Your wish is my command.” I’d like to live out my last years in the finest old age home in the country,” sighed Khaimovich longingly. His wish was granted, and suddenly, Khaimovich found himself in the Kremlin in the company of Brezhnev Kosygin, Gromyko, Suslov, and the other Politburo golden-agers.

z Returning to New York from a trip to the Soviet Union, Goldberg, a member of the U.S. Communist Party, was summoned to the local headquarters. “Comrade Goldberg, did you have the chance to meet any real, unshakable Marxists during your three-month official tour of the Soviet Union?” a party boss inquired. “Only one,” came the terse reply. “And who was that?” the official queried. “Kogan, another tourist from New York,” said Goldberg.51

ib., p.201 ib., p.55-56. Source text reads: “All the Jews on line must leave” [sic] p.55 ib., pp.14-15

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