From: The Once Upon a Time Stories of Opal Louis Nations
Once upon a time during an undetermined period in history lived the mammal Bambi, member of the species Odocoileus Virginianus, commonly referred to as the whitetailed deer of some intrinsic value. Protected from extinction by ordinance, Bambi was born naturally without veterinary expense under a thicket in a wooded area marked by conservation under the umbrella of the National park System maintained at some cost to the taxpayer. Newborn Bambi's probable average length was somewhere between forty and fifty centimeters.
While still an awkward young fawn, he was taught by his mother that he was a deer. How she did this is not exactly known. All we do know is that instruction was given free of charge. Bambi also learned that deer did not kill other animals either for food or profit and the jaybird was then singled out as being a prime example of the former. He learned, too, that deer should not be finicky in their dietary likes and dislikes, that deer should venture from hidden positions to go to the meadow only in the early morning and late in the evening and thus nibble leaves, twigs, shrubs and non-woody plants it must learn to relish or suffer without.
Bambi was told that a vegetarian diet as such was both wholesome and inexpensive and that the cost to taxpayers was negligible. He was told to rely on the rustle of last year's dead leaves to give warning of approaching danger and that should he be caught on the rocks it was every man for himself. On his first visit to the meadow Bambi held a conversation with a grasshopper. This marked the beginning of Bambi's strange behavior that at first puzzled his mother but later turned to concern over her son's sanity. He took a close look at a butterfly and was taught the wonder of metamorphosis which almost made his long and overdeveloped eyelashes curl.
One evening, Bambi and his mother went to the meadow again, a fresh crop of purple-headed sneezeweed had sprung up and his mum wanted first dibs. On his second visit he was introduced to a hare
#11 – Bambi, p./1 Opal Louis Nations