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Adult Attachment

is an increase of physical contact: cuddling, kissing, and holding. There is an increase in blood flow and a flush to the face: a warm fuzzy feeling. And there is euphoria to help strengthen the push that sex is a good thing.

These chemicals tell a person’s body that what they are doing is good, but they also reinforce that this person is good. Who could deny a person that makes them feel that way? The fact that sex is a very intimate act further pushes the idea that not everyone could produce this feeling. A woman could not go to the store and buy the feeling she experiences after sex. It is a unique feeling given to her by the man she is involved with. This exclusivity helps to reinforce the forming bond, just as it did the infant-caregiver bond.  

This chemical reaction may help to foster a later, stronger attachment as well. Through classical conditioning, these early emotional fluxes could promote good feelings later in the relationship. (Hazan, C. & Diamond, L.M., 2000) These chemical floods are paired with this new special person. The chemical overflow is reinforcing to the body. Later the person sees the object of their affection and it triggers the good feelings. These chemicals condition humans so that even once the infatuation stage is passed the connection between this person and reinforcement remains in tact.

The absence of external signs of estrus show that sex is not only for reproductive purposes. Women are responsive at all times, not only during ovulation. Sex when a female is not receptive seems to be a waste of time unless it held another purpose. That purpose is bond formation. The face-to-face contact possible by humans is another way to foster the bond. Just as a mother and child have ventral-to-ventral contact, so do lovers.

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