seeking, safe haven, separation protest, and finally a secure base. All of these attributes are transferred to the new partner slowly and systematically in that order. The mechanism is still there; it has just been repositioned.
It is clear that a romantic relationship is a similar bond to the infant-caregiver model. They involve the same bond forming behaviors, the same bond enforcing chemicals, and the same bond maintaining loss patterns. The bond a child makes with its mother is a framework for the way he or she will make bonds later in life. If the child does not receive enough affection, he or she may grow up avoidant of affection, or he or she may be insecure-ambivalent and be clingy and fearful of rejection. Hopefully the child made a secure bond with a loving, supportive caregiver and will grow up to embrace and appreciate a romantic relationship.
Many models of adult attachment have been proposed. Hazan and Shaver proposed a three-category model of adult attachment stemming from Ainsworth’s original three models for infant attachment. The first type corresponds with Ainsworth’s secure prototype. They are happy in close relationships. They are not jealous or secretive. They seem to be open about their feelings. The secure type is an independent person who can stand on their own two feet, but are comfortable seeking comfort and support when needed. The avoidant model corresponds with insecure-avoidant attachment in childhood attachment models. They avoid intimate contact. If they do engage in close relationships, they are distant and cold. They do not show their feelings and are very uncomfortable when that exchange is expected. They are fiercely independent and are sometimes “loners,” choosing loneliness over intimacy. The third style, anxious, is a lot