The Exodus–Part 1
Cue: Moses [Sing this to the tune of “Louie, Louie.”]
Pharaoh, Pharaoh Ohhh baby, let my people go.
Suddenly, Pharaoh’s glass of water turned into blood, which got
Pharaoh all choked up
. . . . Remembering that he had both a
hard heart and a hard head, Pharaoh stared back at Moses and Aaron, . . . cross-eyed, . . . and with defiance he said in his best Elmer Fudd voice: . . .
Cue: Pharoah [Speak like Elmer Fudd.]
Why you wascally Hebwew you, You’ll never twick me into wetting your people go I need them to finish building an eweventh bedwoom
at my Summa home in Caiwo.
Moses looked baffled . . . because he couldn’t understand a word Pharaoh had said. But Moses knew he was going to have to play hardball with him. Pharaoh, thinking the same thing, stepped into a
pitcher’s stance . . . then wound up . . . counterclockwise . . . three times . . . and, in slow motion, . . . threw a changeup to Moses, who slowly swung the staff. . . . As soon as Moses fin-
ished his swing, . . . the audience turned into frogs, ping up and down and making weird croaking sounds
. . . hop- . . . and
searching for bugs with their tongues. . . .
After the crowd settled down, . . . Pharaoh pitched two fastballs . . . at the same time, . . . with both hands. . . . But Moses
was ready and hit both with his staff,
. . . which made the right
side of the audience fly around like gnats . . . and the left side like flies, . . . with both sides making irritating buzzing sounds in each other’s ears. . . .