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The Exodus–Part 1

Cue: Moses and Aaron [Sing this to the tune of “Louie, Louie.”]

Pharaoh, Pharaoh Ohhh baby, let my people go. Ugh!

But Pharaoh’s heart and head were still hard as a rock, . . . and he just shook his head and made mean faces at Moses and Aaron, . . . who shook their fingers back at Pharaoh, warning that the

next hit would be his last.

At that moment, Moses pointed with his staff to the highest point of a nearby pyramid . . . as if he were going to hit the ball over it. This made Pharaoh laugh out loud . . . —even louder than that— . . . because no one, I mean NO ONE, had ever hit a ball over the pyramid before, which is why they called it the Green Monster.

So Moses made a big wager with Pharaoh that if he was able to knock the ball over the Green Monster, Pharaoh would have to give up all of his firstborn draft picks (except for the Lambs, the local

Israelite team).

Pharaoh agreed with a sly smirk,

. . . knowing that he was going

to throw his illegal spitball. He then spat into his hand . . . and

used it to brush back his hair

, . . . which in turn greased up his

entire palm, which he smeared all over the ball. . . . The audience gasped, . . . then held its breath . . . —longer . . . longer

. . . longer—

. . . until Pharaoh wound up and tossed the ball at

Moses with all his might

. . . . The eyes of the audience followed

the pitch as it slowly slid its way toward Moses, . . . first this way, . . . then that way, . . . as Moses reached back with his staff . . . —further . . . further— . . . and swung with all his might. . . . The entire audience stood up as they watched the ball sail up . . . up . . . up . . . and over the Green Monster!

The crowd went wild, . . . while Moses and Aaron did a victory dance. . . . Then they lead the audience in singing three times their theme song: . . .

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