TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN GOD’S WAY
If you ready your children at an early age, they will be prepared for life’s stumbling blocks and take them much more in stride.
Teach Your Children the Meaning of the Word “No”
Tragically, most parents are no longer willing or able to tell their children “No!” in emphatic terms. Modernists have seduced millions of parents into reasoning with their children—endlessly! A genera- tion of child psychologists have carefully taught parents how to rea- son with their children over almost every issue—to ask their child if they will do this or that, seemingly needing to get permission from the child to secure obedience.
Schooled in the false theory of evolution, which rejects revealed knowledge, these “educators” are themselves educated in all the WRONG VALUES and, lacking true understanding from God, have as- sumed that godly forms of punishment harm children’s self-esteem and development. Such reasoning has been proven unsound, and studies show that children are actually incapable of reasoning in any but the simplest matters until they reach age seven or eight.
“No” is the most character-building word in the English lan- guage. Your children have a right—and need—to hear it from you! Never be afraid to tell them what they NEED to hear in lieu of what they may WANT to hear. You are the parent. They are the children. Keep this distinction clear—in your mind and theirs.
Ask yourself how often you hear others—or yourself!—tell your children to do something (anything) followed by the request for their stamp of approval by ending with “Okay?”—“It’s bedtime, okay?”, “Put your toys away, okay?”, “Let’s eat your green beans, okay?”, “Let’s put your coat on, okay?”, etc.
For those who will receive the message, a fully mature adult par- ent asking a small child for approval is a towering statement about who is in charge—and doing this will teach your child to become a debater, and that your every instruction is up for discussion. Your children need to ask YOU if something is okay or not. YOU are sup- posed to be in charge, never the child!
No wonder the prophet Isaiah said of the final age before Christ returns, “As for my people, children are their oppressors…” (3:12). It is the sad experience of millions of parents today that their children have virtual mastery over them, running them ragged, with the par- ents having no idea what to do about it or even that it should be any
Where Teaching the Basics Begins
other way. Modernists have coined the phrase “childcentric families” to describe millions of today’s homes. In what has been called “a vast family management meltdown,” great numbers do not know where to turn or that God gives instruction in such matters.
Your Authority Is Often Enough
Teach your children to accept the simple phrase, “Because I said so,” and that this may be all the explanation they will receive. They will learn to submit to authority without having to always know why.
When I tried to tell my parents in circumstances where I wanted a reason that they were unwilling to give, I tried perhaps a couple times to tell them, “Well, other parents allow my friends to do (what- ever may have been the case).” Invariably, my parents answered with a simple, “You don’t have other parents. You have us!”
On a side note, for those who need their very small children to be quiet in public places or at church services, it is crucial that you teach them when to “hush.” While it is wonderful to watch tiny chil- dren “discover” their voices, they must understand that there is a time and place for this. Be sure you are regularly teaching your chil- dren the importance of “quiet time.” This means making them prac- tice at home. Your children need to understand that at naptime, or at any other time you want them to do this, they must respond to the meaning of “head down.” It is a good idea to try to coordinate your little children’s naptime to the time you need them to be quiet, such as during church services. But this also applies to them being quiet when awake in a public place, such as a restaurant.
Be sure that you are requiring obedience in every circumstance. Never fall for the siren song that disobedience is “just a stage they are going through” or that they are experiencing the “terrible twos,” which inevitably lead to the “terrible threes” and the “terrible fours.” The real problem is simply terrible disobedience.
Unfortunately, too many parents have taught their children, through nagging and not applying proper discipline, that “no” means “maybe,” “possibly” or “we’ll see.” Make your children un- derstand that “no” is not the opening round of a negotiation. While this does not mean that you can never ask their opinion, they must understand that your decisions are final! You will love the benefits of following this principle—and the peace and rest that it will give you in the place of endless frustration. Remember Proverbs 29:17,